


be with me so happily

by fannyann



Series: full house au [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Casual Alcohol Consumption, M/M, continued exploration of grief in response to Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 11:52:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 35,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1778044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fannyann/pseuds/fannyann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>You know how it is, Daisy. Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love. Boy has to go on tour and leave everyone behind.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>or a sequel to the loosely based full house au: <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1332880">(everywhere you look) there's a face of somebody who needs you</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	be with me so happily

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to [beka](chasingthepayne.tumblr.com) and [sarah](spankmeniall.tumblr.com) for holding my hand  the entire way through this fic and to [flappyliam](http://flappyliam.tumblr.com/) for so graciously betaing this as well as britpicking and checking the authenticity of the two kids. and to my ultimate bean, sahana for giving me the idea for the location of harry's album release. 

Harry wakes up Friday morning feeling settled and more like himself than he has all year. His album is well on its way to being finished. He gave his last bit of vocals two and a half weeks ago and finally handed the reins over to Louis and Liam to finish production. He has meetings all next week to start picking out singles and finalising an album release and thinking about where he wants to tour and then there’s him and Liam. They haven’t exactly put a label on what it is they’re doing yet, but they’re doing _something_. Harry hasn’t come down from cloud nine since Liam said he was a bit mad for him and he’s happier than he has been in so long. 

The sun coming in through the blinds warms his skin as he yawns, blinking sleep out of his eyes and taking in the last bit of quiet he has before starting the day. He pushes out of bed and smiles at the sound of Niall and Kit laughing at the end of the hall. Harry pulls on a fresh t-shirt, makes his way to the door and is met with a soft knock, opening the door to find a fresh faced Niall and a bouncing Kit at his feet. 

Niall opens his mouth to say something but is cut off by Kit nearly shrieking in excitement, “Daddy’s birthday!” 

Niall laughs, shaking his head softly. “Way to steal a man’s thunder, Kit.”

Harry rolls his eyes slightly, mumbling softly to himself, “I didn’t need a reminder, you know.” 

Niall huffs out breathily but then Kit looks up at him, face wrinkled in confusion, and his face softens in fondness as she exclaims, “You know what that means!” 

Harry smiles teasingly at Niall, eyes twinkling, saying, “Yeah, it means your Daddy’s one year closer to thirty. He and Niall are getting old.” 

Niall scoffs. “Shut it, Harry. You’re only like- a year or so behind us.” 

Harry bites his lip trying not to laugh at the appalled look on Niall’s face at Harry calling them _old_ and then Kit makes this disgruntled noise below them, scrunching her nose up in that way she always does when adults can’t seem to get on the same page as her. She looks between the two of them wide eyed and frustrated before shaking her head, excitement back in her voice, “No! Cupcakes!” 

Harry’s stomach feels like it bottoms out at the mention, eyes flicking from Kit’s excited face to Niall’s, lips pursed, eyes suddenly steely, and Harry feels a bit clammy. 

He’d been so caught up in how happy he’s been with Liam and how much progress they’ve made with the album that he hadn’t even thought about the cupcakes or how they’d be missing this year, all things considered. 

He clears his throat, trying to keep the unease out of his voice as to not upset Kit. “Oh. I don’t know if we’ll be having cupcakes this year, bug. That was your Daddy and Mummy’s thing.” 

She starts fidgeting at Niall’s side, getting fussy. “But it’s his birthday! Daddy loves cupcakes.” 

Harry smiles sadly at how similar she is to her mum, already so enthusiastic about birthdays, and looks to Niall for help. He looks just as lost as Harry thought he would, as if he hadn’t taken into consideration the cupcakes, or the lack of them this year, either. 

Niall picks Kit up, hoists her up on his hip and kisses the top of her head. “Kit Kat it’s gonna be up to your Daddy if he wants ‘em this year. It’s his birthday after all.” 

Kit smiles again, calmer than the moment before. 

“Can I help make them?” she asks as if she’s confident that Liam will want them. 

The tension that had been building up in his chest starts to dissipate at how excited Kit remains about baking cupcakes for Liam and Harry thinks that maybe, if Liam wants them, they’ll be able to give him some small replacement for what Addie had given him every year since they met. 

“Yeah, bug. If your Daddy wants them you can help me and Niall make ‘em.” 

Niall shakes in laughter and Kit holds onto his shoulder tightly to keep balance. “Oh no, oh no no no. Don’t you try roping me into this. That’s all you, mate.” 

Harry pushes past the two of them and finally makes his way to the bathroom, feeling oddly anxious about the rest of the day. He smiles back at Kit, reassuring her as he twists the bathroom door open, “Fine, bug. It’ll be just us two. You can be my sous chef!” 

*

By the time he makes it downstairs after his shower, Niall and Kit have woken up Daisy and Liam and set them all up at the kitchen table for breakfast. Daisy’s kicking her legs out in her high chair at the end of the table, pushing cereal back and forth in front of her as Liam smiles across the table at Kit while she explains to him what he should do for his birthday. As he gets closer though, Harry realises that Liam’s shoulders are tense and the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He looks a bit uneasy.

Liam startles as Harry pulls the chair out beside him, looking up at him, eyes softening around the edges. “Morning, Hazza. Did you hear? I’m a whole day older.” 

Harry tilts his head to the side, going for teasing, “Not just another day, another _year_. Happy birthday, man.” 

Liam’s eyes crinkle up, smile reaching his eyes this time, saying quietly, “Thanks.” 

Kit takes the silence that falls over the room while Harry sits down as an opportunity to continue telling Liam what he should do. Niall’s passing over a plate of toast and eggs to Harry when the whole room stills, Kit excitedly saying, “Daddy, Harry and I are going to make you cupcakes today. For your birthday!” 

Harry swallows loudly, looking over at Liam, eyes wide in shock, trying to communicate silently that that’s not how it was meant to go over. Liam just looks at him sharply before turning back to Kit, opening his mouth and then closing it quickly, looking lost for words. 

The look on Liam’s face causes a rushing sound in Harry’s head but he can still make out Niall’s nervous laughter just behind it. He blinks several times trying to calm himself and hears Niall say, voice sterner than he’s ever heard it while talking to Kit, “Now Kit, you know we just told you that it was up to your Daddy if he wanted the cupcakes.” 

Niall’s lips are pressed into a thin line, continuing, “You can’t just tell him you’re going to make them. You have to _ask_ if that’s alright.” 

Kit doesn’t really seem to understand why everyone’s so upset but she apologises, anyway. 

“Sorry, Daddy,” she says quietly, asking shyly, “Do you want cupcakes?” 

Liam looks between Niall and Harry, face falling somewhere between pained and amused and he laughs tiredly, shaking his head slightly before smiling at Kit, genuine and kind as ever, “Yeah, Kit. That’d be nice. I don’t think Harry will be able to make ‘em as good as your mum without your help.” 

Kit’s smiling widely now, clapping her hands in excitement but Harry still can’t help but feel like Liam’s upset. He leans over, hand resting against Liam’s shoulder and whispers against his ear, “Li, that’s not -- I don’t think she knows the significance of the things. She just remembers you have them every year. You can tell her no if you don’t want them.” 

Liam leans into Harry’s touch briefly before Niall clears his throat across the table, eyes sharpening pointedly, faintly smirking at the two of them. He gives them a warning look and Harry knows he’s just trying to keep them on their toes about the girls not finding out about them before Liam is ready but he still gets an odd rush in his stomach at how quickly Liam pulls away from him. 

Liam turns to Harry quickly, giving him an apologetic look before turning back to Niall with this slightly pained look and Harry gets this sneaking feeling that Liam thinks he’s disappointed Niall and that makes Harry’s head spin a bit. 

Niall just smiles easily though, eyes snapping to Harry before quickly looking down at Kit to say, as if nothing happened, “How about me, you and Daisy go to the shop and pick up the things we need for the cupcakes? How’s that sound?” 

Kit smiles bigger than before, eyes twinkling in excitement. Then she pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful, “Harry too?”

It’s not as if Harry doesn’t want to go with the three of them. It’s just that he’d like to talk to Liam privately -- make sure he knows for sure this wasn’t something he had planned. That he was just as blindsided by Kit’s mention of cupcakes this morning as Liam had been. 

He looks at Niall for help and isn’t let down. 

“No, I think Harry’s going to stay behind and keep Daddy company. You know the rules -- can’t leave the birthday boy alone on his big day!” 

Kit’s giggling in her chair. She looks between the three of them, finally landing on Liam as she says, “Daddy’s too old to be a boy!” 

Niall looks delighted by Kit’s quip and Liam just shakes his head and puts his hand over his chest in mock hurt while Niall laughs out, “Right then, the birthday _man_!” 

Harry forces out a laugh, like everyone else, chewing his food slowly. He pushes his eggs around with his fork, not able to stomach eating anymore, suddenly nervous to be alone in the same room with Liam. They finish breakfast in near silence, save for Daisy banging bits of Cheerios down on her highchair to the sound of Kit’s encouraging laughter. 

Once they’ve finished Niall clears the table, pausing as he picks up Liam’s plate to whisper something in his ear. Harry can’t quite make it out exactly but it sounds a lot like, “Come on Leemo, it’s your birthday.” 

Liam sighs out softly, shoulders loosening as he leans back against Niall, briefly resting his cheek against Niall’s and Harry’s heart twists painfully at the sight. After all this time, after all this progress they’ve made, it’s still Niall who figures out a way to calm Liam and Harry doesn’t know if he’ll ever be that person for Liam, no matter how much he wants to be. 

Niall pulls away, plates in hand, smiling at his work. He looks over at Harry and his smile falters a bit, eyes narrowing in concern at Harry’s half touched plate of eggs and the way his brow is creased in frustration. He laughs out shortly, “My eggs aren’t that bad, mate.” 

He’s joking but his eyes are soft and concerned and Harry feels guilty about the way his heart twists jealously at Niall and Liam’s friendship because he _knows_ it’s not like that. 

He shakes his head slightly, running his hand through his hair and smiles up at Niall, handing him the plate, teasing, “Shoulda let me make ‘em. Would’ve been a better way to start the birthday celebrations.” 

Niall’s eyes light up. He pushes the plate back into Harry’s hand, saying, “You can clean up after yourself for that one.” 

His smile takes over his whole face and Harry feels calmer, less unnerved. He follows Niall to the sink, sweeping the last bit of Cheerios Daisy’s been playing with onto his plate and kissing the top of her head before he goes. 

Niall grabs his wrist softly as Harry places the plate in the sink, saying in a hushed tone, “Don’t do that thing you do, Harry.” 

Harry looks at him seriously, heartbeat quickening, skin warming up beneath Niall’s grip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Niall’s eyes sharpen as if he doesn’t buy what Harry’s saying but he smiles back at him sympathetically, saying just as softly, just for Harry to hear, “Just don’t let this cupcake thing become something it doesn’t need to be. Don’t let it come between the two of you.” 

He pauses for a beat, letting go of Harry’s wrist and patting him on the cheek. “He’s so happy. _You’re_ so happy. Just keep that, okay?” 

Harry’s stunned silent at Niall’s words. It’s not as if Niall’s been unsupportive of Harry and Liam being a thing, whatever that may be, it’s just that he’s been wary about them jumping the gun and going about this too quickly. He had smiled brightly and congratulated them the morning after they first hooked up for finally sorting their shit out but he did advise them to take it slow, not rush into slapping a label on anything just yet. So to have him tell Harry to keep it -- to keep this happiness he’s found with Liam -- has Harry feeling light and giddy. 

He turns his head to the side, biting his lips to try and stave off a grin. “Yeah, alright.” 

*

Niall gathers the girls up and heads for the shop to pick up the missing ingredients. Harry and Liam sit in silence at the kitchen table for a long time after they leave. Liam looks at everything but Harry while biting his bottom lip sadly. Harry fidgets in his seat, glancing back and forth between his hands and Liam’s face while picking at his fingernails nervously, chest tight and a bit panicked. 

Liam finally turns in his chair to look at Harry, smiling weakly, saying, “Better be careful, Haz. People are gonna start pointing to your fucked up nails and saying that the stress of raising two kids while working on an album is ruining your good looks.” 

Harry’s laugh is like a bark and he covers his mouth quickly, trying to suppress it. Liam’s smiling fully, a bit smug at eliciting such a response. 

Harry shakes silently, calming down enough to say around a laugh, “Are you suggesting that my good looks lie in the state of my _nails_?” 

“Well it’s definitely not in your hair.” 

Harry’s eyes widen in shock and he presses one hand to his heart and pushes at Liam’s shoulder with the other, pouting. “Heyyy. I’m hurt. My hair is my best feature.” 

Liam reaches up and tucks a stray curl behind Harry’s ear, smiling fondly. “I wouldn’t go that far. But it’s alright.” 

Liam leaves his hand there, thumb rubbing at Harry’s ear and Harry feels warm down to his toes. He opens his mouth to tell Liam to shut up, that his hair is more than alright, but his words get caught in his throat with the way Liam’s looking at him so softly. He clears his throat, pressing his face closer to Liam’s hand, and says, “Hey, sorry about the cupcakes.” 

Liam’s fingers still against Harry’s skin, shaking his head softly, smiling, “No, it’s - it’s okay. Just surprised she even remembered them, really. Didn’t think it’d be something I had to think about today.” 

Harry squeezes Liam’s knee. “It doesn’t have to be, like. It doesn’t have to be like it was with Addie. We won’t sing Happy Birthday. Or light any candles. It’ll just be cupcakes and icing. Just think of it as any other dessert on any other day.” 

Liam’s smiling, but he removes his hand from Harry’s face and leans back in his chair, sighing out, “It’s not that. It’s not about the cupcakes.” 

He rubs at his face and he sounds frustrated and that’s not what Harry wants at all. “It’s like, I’ve been so happy lately,” he presses his hand against the back of Harry’s hand, where it’s still resting on Liam’s knees, “Been so happy with _you_. But then, I dunno. I woke up this morning and everything felt wrong.” 

Harry feels as if he’s been showered with a bucket of ice water, he’s cold and clammy all over, not liking the way this conversation is headed at all. His tongue feels thick in his mouth and when he tries to speak he can’t find the right words. He laughs nervously, settling on, “How so?” 

Liam averts his eyes, pressing his thumb firmly against Harry’s skin, rubbing circles against his cross tattoo, saying hurriedly, “No, not like that. I don’t feel wrong about _us_ , not really.” 

He pauses but his words don’t calm Harry at all. He knows this is complicated and he knows they’re both still a bit fucked up but he doesn’t want to be doing something that makes Liam feel wrong. He doesn’t want to pressure Liam into loving him back. 

Harry pulls his hand away from Liam’s, rubs his hands over his face and rests his elbows on the table. Looking back over at Liam, he says, “Maybe we should - you know, we could always cool this off. I don’t want to do something that makes you uncomfortable, Liam.” 

Liam blinks quickly, biting at his lip, again. “No! That’s not what I was trying to say. That’s not what I want at all. I just woke up this morning and missed her so much. God, it hurts so much sometimes. It’s like I just got the call all over again. And it’s stupid because it’s my birthday.” 

He’s laughing, but it sounds so foreign. Nothing like he’s ever heard Liam laugh before. It sounds angry and sad and _ashamed_. “But how fucking selfish is that? Like, at least I get another birthday. At least I get to be happy.” 

Harry’s startled by how angry Liam sounds. He’s never heard him like this before. He wasn’t here for the initial grieving and he’s never heard Liam sound this angry about it. He’s always just shown Harry sadness and a little bit of guilt. 

Harry reaches out for Liam’s hand, pulling him up with him and into a hug and Liam sighs out, defeatedly, saying into the crook of Harry’s shoulder, “And it’s not the cupcakes. But maybe it is a bit. It’s like, that was _her_ thing for me. And I dunno, if I let you and Kit do them does that mean I’m replacing her? I’m not trying to replace her. I’m just trying to keep living.”

Harry hugs him tighter, kissing the side of his neck. “Oh Liam, no. That’s not -- I don’t think anyone thinks you’re trying to replace her.”

He leans back, holding Liam at shoulder length, trying to smile at him reassuringly but his heart is beating nervously. He doesn’t know how to do this. He’s never been the best at comforting people, but this is Liam and he needs it, so he tries. “How ‘bout we don’t make cupcakes?”  
Liam opens his mouth to say no but Harry cuts him off, placing a finger to his lips, “What if we just made a cake? Tell Kit since you’re so _old_ now that you have to have something bigger. Something more fitting for all those candles we’ll need. It can be a new tradition. Let the cupcakes be Addie’s thing but still celebrate with cake. As it is your favourite pudding.” 

Liam smiles back at Harry reluctantly, eyes gleaming. “First, I’m not that old you dick. Second, that’s a pretty good idea coming from you. Wouldn’t have expected you to come up with something like that.” 

He’s laughing now, eyes twinkling with it. He’s got his hand on Harry’s waist, pulling him in and Harry’s response about how he’s actually quite clever gets caught in the back of his throat as Liam kisses him. Harry sighs into it, wrapping his hands around Liam’s shoulders and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. 

They pull apart to the sound of Niall saying, “Oh, shit.” 

The two of them look toward the entrance of the kitchen to see Niall with Daisy on his hip and Kit at his feet, holding a bag of baking goods in his hand, mouthing the word ‘sorry’ back at the two of them, smiling guiltily. 

Liam moves away from Harry’s side, removing his hand from Harry’s hip like he’d just been burned and Harry feels his world crashing around him. This isn’t how they were supposed to find out. 

He looks at Kit’s face scrunched up in confusion, Niall glancing between the three of them frantically and the way Liam’s face has lost so much colour and knows this isn’t going to be good. 

Niall moves to place the bag of groceries onto the counter and Kit moves into the kitchen further. She looks up at Harry and Liam and then turns to Niall, eyes wide and perplexed, “You kiss Daddy.” 

Harry’s impressed Niall doesn’t drop Daisy with the way he coughs in surprise, face flushing red with the force of it. Niall doesn’t say anything for a long time, walking over to Harry and handing him Daisy, looking between him and Liam like he’s trying not to laugh. Daisy grabs at Harry’s hair once in his arms, saying, “Haiwwy,” excitedly. 

He’s calmed slightly by Daisy’s laugh but Liam’s still standing next to him mouth parted in shock so it doesn’t work to completely unnerve the situation. Niall turns back to Kit, picking her up and twirling her around, trying to defuse the situation like he always does, with honesty and laughter, “Yeah, sometimes.” 

Kit shrieks in laughter as she’s whisked around the air and then the two of them still, Niall places her back on the ground and though it looked for a moment that that would be the end of it, Kit says, “Harry kisses Daddy, too?”

It’s more of a question than it is a statement and Niall’s eyes flick back to the two of them, settling on Liam for a moment, almost as if he’s asking permission and then Liam nods his head slightly, biting at his lip once again. 

Harry settles back down in his chair, kisses the top of Daisy head and holds her close, whispering for just her to hear, “Let’s see how Niall spins this one Daisy Chain.” 

She looks up at him, giggling and Harry feels lighter, feels like no matter what Niall says it’ll be alright. He reaches out to squeeze Liam’s hand reassuringly as Niall clears his throat, kneeling down to where he’s eye level with Kit, voice coloured in laughter, “Oh Kit Kat, you’ve got so much to learn. Me and your Daddy are what I like to call kissing friends, always have been. It’s just another way to show affection. Doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.” 

Kit blinks a few times, then looks back at Harry with her lips pressed in a thin line, asking, “And you too?”

Niall covers his eyes briefly, shaking his head and Harry suddenly feels very hot. He looks at Liam for help and Liam finally clears his throat, speaking for the first time since they’d been caught, “Harry’s um--” 

He shuts his mouth quickly, licking at his lips nervously and Harry waits with baited breath to hear what he says, but when it comes he wishes it never happened. After a long pause Liam finally says, “Yeah, Harry’s a bit like a kissing friend, too.” 

Harry closes his eyes, breathes out quietly and hopes when he opens them Niall won’t be looking at him. But he has no such luck, his eyes are wet and he picks Daisy up, blowing a raspberry into her stomach, making her giggle and blinks the tears away before looking back at Niall, trying to smile convincingly. 

Liam’s picked Kit up, and she’s giggling now, laughing at the way Liam’s tickling her and saying, “So Kit,” he looks over at Harry apologetically before continuing and Harry feels like something’s shifted between the two of them, “how ‘bout you and Harry make cake instead of cupcakes? We’ve got a lot of candles to fit on just the one cupcake, this year.” 

Niall’s getting up and moving toward Harry, when Liam stage whispers, “Besides Harry’s always had a problem getting the cupcakes right, he’s much better working with bigger things.” 

It’s not abnormal for Liam to tease, it’s not as if they don’t do this all the time, it’s just right now Harry’s upset. He hadn’t expected Liam to tell Kit right then that they were _something_ he just hadn’t expected to be deemed just a friend, whether it’s a kissing friend or not, and to have him joking about how Harry’s not good at something right after hurts, a lot. Niall places a hand on his shoulder and looks down at him sadly, rubbing at the skin right at his collar, saying, “Come on, man. Let’s go set Daisy up for her nap.” 

Harry doesn’t move other than to hand Daisy to him so Niall nods his head toward the hallway. “Seriously, you know she gets fussy when you don’t put her down.” He lowers his voice as to not let Liam and Kit hear, “Don’t be difficult. You know as well as I do you need to talk.” 

Harry gets up reluctantly, follows Niall out the kitchen and tries not to notice the way Liam’s eyes follow them, watching them worriedly. Harry thinks it’s funny how easily Liam can crush Harry’s happiness without even trying. How he’d foolishly placed so much of his healing into the hands of a man that was doing just as much as, if not more than, he was and expected him to be able to do anything but hold this this thing of theirs close to his heart. 

He’s fighting back tears by the time he and Niall make it upstairs with Daisy. They lay her down in her crib and Harry kisses her softly on the cheek, whispering, “Sleep tight, Daisy Chain,” before turning the lights off and heading to his room. 

He knows Niall will follow but he’s not expecting to be wrapped in a hug the minute he shuts the door. Niall’s embrace is warm and fierce and Harry melts into it, resting his chin on Niall’s shoulder and hiccuping a bit with the force he’s trying to contain his tears. He laughs watery against Niall’s cheek, “Guess I didn’t really need to worry about the cupcakes coming in between us, now did I?” 

Niall steps back, looks at him sympathetically and then smacks Harry’s chest. “You’re being a dick.” 

Harry’s so surprised by the hit to the chest that he laughs, forgetting for a moment to fight back the tears, eyes brimming over with his laughter. “What the fuck was that for?” 

Niall makes himself comfortable on Harry’s bed, looking up at him somewhere between amused and disapproving. “Like I said: you’re being a dick.” 

His voice softens a bit, but he still sounds disgruntled, “Look, I understand that Liam saying you’re just kissing friends has to be a blow to your ego and has to hurt when you care about him so much. But come on, Harry. You have to be fair. He’s out here trying to figure out what this thing with you is and see where it takes the two of you before springing it on the girls. It wouldn’t be fair to them if they found out about you two and then two months down the line everything went up in flames and they lost you, too.” 

“They’re not going to lose me,” Harry says defensively. 

Niall looks at him disbelievingly. “Yeah but what happens if this doesn’t work out? I don’t think you’re really thinking of the long term here.” 

Harry’s mouth is dry and he feels like crying for completely different reasons now. He rubs at his face frustrated, sighing out raggedly, “That’s not. You’re being really unfair. I _have_ thought about this long term. I _love_ him.” 

Niall’s features are softer, sympathetic again. “No, I know that, man. I do. That’s not what I’m saying. I know you do. But you’re a fucking popstar, mate. You’re about to release a new album. And you’re going to have to do promo and eventually a tour and I’m just worried that you haven’t thought about how that’s going to affect what you have with Liam and how that’s going to be on the girls.” 

He gets up and walks toward Harry, ruffling his hair for a second, smiling softly, “I just don’t want to see the two of you get hurt more than you already have been. Just be careful before you get in too deep, okay?” 

Harry’s head is spinning with Niall’s concerns because he’s right, Harry hadn’t thought about any of that. He had thought about how he loves Liam and how much he loves helping with the girls and how happy Liam makes him and how he wants whatever Liam is ready to give. But he hadn’t once thought, in the entire time they were writing and recording this new album, what it would be like on Liam or the girls once Harry went back on tour. 

Harry leans back against his desk dejectedly, breathing deeply to try and steady himself, knowing full well that he has a huge problem on his hands now. He buries his face in his hands and says, “Think I already am in too deep, Niall.” 

Niall pulls Harry’s hands away from his face and looks down at him, mouth pursed around a smile, “Yeah, I had a feeling you would be. But don’t let it get to you that Liam needs to take this slower.”

“I’m not.”

Niall’s eyes sharpen disbelievingly again and Harry’s words come out half frantic, half amused, “Well I’m trying not to!” 

Niall pats him on each cheek, approvingly, “You’re doing a pretty good job. Except for just now. You fucked up a bit there.”

Niall makes for the door, looking back at Harry expectantly, “Come on, Daisy’s morning naps are never that long anymore. You’ve probably got twenty minutes to get all the baking stuff together before she wakes up.”

Harry sighs and tells him he’ll be right down. He sits at the edge of his desk composing his thoughts, wondering if his poor reaction to Liam’s admission this morning will change the course of their relationship. He heads down stairs, shoulders hung, hoping Liam won’t take it poorly or think Harry’s trying to rush him into something. 

*  
Niall’s right. Daisy wakes up a little before noon, right after Harry and Kit have set out all the ingredients and preheated the oven. Kit’s so excited about baking that she nearly throws a fit when Harry leaves to get Daisy, whining out, “But Harry, the cake!” 

Harry smiles reassuringly, “Don’t worry, bug. It’ll be just a minute and then we’ll get right to it. Go ask your Daddy what kind of icing he wants in the mean time.” 

There’s an awkward moment when he passes through the kitchen and heads for the stairs where Liam looks at him sadly from the sofa, eyes hooded in concern, while Niall looks between the two of them eyes widening and head jerking to the side a bit, as if he’s trying to say, “Just _talk_ to him.” 

Harry doesn’t though, not just yet. He gets Daisy up from her nap after finding her standing at the edge of her crib, fingers clasped around the bars looking up at him expectantly when he comes through the door. 

“Soon you won’t even be taking morning naps anymore, Daisy Chain. You’re getting to be such a big girl.” 

She takes her hands off the bars and reaches up for Harry. “Big!” 

“Yeah, baby girl. Big. You’re getting so big.” 

The two of them go back downstairs to find Kit on the sofa between Niall and Liam, head rested on Liam’s lap, eyes closing a little. 

She notices Harry and sits up too quickly, nearly falling off the sofa. Liam steadies her, laughing, “Careful there, Kit.” 

She laughs, too, looking at Harry excitedly, “Harry! Cake time!” 

“I dunno, Kit. You look a bit tired. Sure you’re up for it?” 

He’s teasing and she looks appalled. She hurries off the sofa and toward the kitchen. “Don’t be silly.” 

He looks back at Niall and Liam, hoisting Daisy further up on his hip, and they both look just as amused as he is. “Looks like someone’s more excited about the cake than the birthday boy is.” 

“Don’t you mean man,” Niall corrects and then they’re all laughing. 

Liam’s eyes are crinkling up around the edges and Daisy’s giggling in Harry’s arm and everything from this morning seems to fade away in that moment. Liam looks back at him soft and kind, and says, “Seems like it was a good idea to go ahead with the cake, then.” 

“Seems like it. Did you decide what icing you wanted?”

“You know there’s no point of cake unless it’s chocolate on chocolate, Harry.” 

Harry shakes his head, whispering to Daisy, “Your Daddy is the most boring eater. Such endless icing options and he goes with the standard.” 

Kit calls out from the kitchen impatiently, “Harry! Hurry!” 

Harry laughs to himself about how Kit’s inherited all of Addie’s enthusiasm for birthdays and absolutely none of her patience and joins her in the kitchen. He sets Daisy up in her high chair, rotating it to where she’s facing him and Kit at the counter, and then brings over a chair for Kit to stand on. 

Kit climbs up on the chair with the help of Harry and then slams her hands down on the countertop excitedly. “Let’s go.” 

Baking with Kit is interesting to say the least. She insists on helping with everything and by the time they’re through making the batter she’s covered in cocoa powder and flour and there’s more sugar on the floor than there is in the cake. Niall comes in as Harry’s putting the two cake pans in the oven and setting the timer and whistles, saying amusedly, “See you two have gotten a lot of work done. Very messy. Daisy you should’ve kept a better eye on them!” 

Daisy giggles loudly from her high chair and Harry shakes his hair out of his face, wiping the powder off his shirt as he goes. “Shut it, Niall. Baking is a very messy process, isn’t it, Kit?” 

“Yes, very. Look, Niall!” 

She climbs down from her chair and holds out the ends of her t-shirt, showing off the brown and white powder covering the pale green. Niall picks her up and kisses her forehead. “We should get you changed while Harry finishes up the icing.” 

Kit shakes her head vigorously. “No! Have to help!” 

Liam joins them, then. “I dunno know about that Kit. There’s boiling water involved. You might burn yourself.” 

“Daddy, please. I’ll be careful!” 

Liam looks at Harry seriously and Harry gets the message. “How ‘bout this, bug. I’ll measure everything out and do the stirring. It’s very boring so I’ll make the sacrifice and do it while you and Niall finish wrapping Daddy’s present. okay?”

Kit considers Harry for a moment before saying slowly, “Okay. But I get to choose the paper!” 

Niall laughs. “You drive a hard bargain, there.” 

Niall let’s Kit down just to be dragged by the hand out the kitchen as Kit hurriedly talks about ribbons and wrapping paper. Harry looks through the cupboards for the double boiler and tries not to notice the way Liam’s staring at him. 

He sets the water to boil and sets aside the chocolate, cutting the butter into pieces and measuring out the powdered sugar and milk he’ll need for later. 

He can feel Liam watching him but he doesn’t say anything until Harry starts melting the chocolate. “You know I think you’re more than just a friend, don’t you?” 

He loses his grip on the whisk and he burns his hand on the side of the pot, sucking in a breath and trying to stay in control of what he’s doing. He glances over his shoulder to see Liam tickling at Daisy’s shoulder, looking back at Harry seriously.

Harry continues stirring the chocolate until it’s smooth and consistent before answering. He removes the pot from the burner and pours the melted chocolate into a new bowl to cool while he readies the mixer to beat the butter. He sucks at the bottom of his bottom lip, thinking.

“Thought I did. I mean, I do. Yeah.” 

Liam doesn’t look convinced but he doesn’t say anything. He just plays peek-a-boo with Daisy while Harry finishes the icing. He finishes right as the timer goes off for the cake and then Liam grabs his wrist as he’s going for the oven, saying reassuringly, “I do, Harry. It’s just--”

Harry cuts him off, removing his wrist from Liam’s grasp to take the cake out, “Yeah. I get it. I know. It’s a bit complicated. I know.” 

He sets the cakes on the cooling rack and turns the oven off, smiles back at Liam and tries to reassure him, “Come on, we can talk about this later. Today’s your birthday. We can talk a different day, yeah?”  
Liam opens his mouth, closes it quickly and sighs out defeated, finally saying, “Yeah, alright.”

Harry’s trying. He really is. He understands that Liam needs to take this slow and he wants to give Liam all the time in the world. But he also doesn’t want to have this conversation right now and end up saying something he doesn’t mean. So he pushes it off. Hopes Liam won’t force the subject again today because he can only deny him so many times on his birthday.

He joins Liam at the table, pressing his hand against Liam’s thigh and squeezing, saying against the shell of his ear, “Birthdays are for blowjobs not defining relationships. Gotta get your priorities straight, mate.” 

Liam coughs loudly, cheeks flushing a nice shade of red and Harry smiles smugly. Liam turns to him, eyes wide and reproachful, mouthing, “Daisy’s right there.” 

Harry shrugs. “She couldn’t hear. Anyway, are you saying that’s not what birthdays are for?” 

Liam’s saved from having to answer because Kit and Niall join them in the kitchen a moment later. Kit’s carrying a present wrapped in neon green paper with a pink ribbon with Niall laughing in tow. The first thing she does is show the thing to Daisy, “Look!” 

Daisy giggles, pointing at the ribbon and making grabby hands, voicing her wonder indistinguishably. Kit shakes her head, frowning, “It’s not for you. It’s for Daddy.” 

Niall clucks his tongue reprimandingly, “Kit don’t be rude. Your sister is just admiring your wrapping. Be nice.” 

Kit hands the present to Liam and then grabs at Daisy’s hand, squeezing it as she says quietly, “Sorry.” 

Daisy giggles, saying Kit’s name excitedly as she squeezes her hand back. Kit turns back to Liam smiling brightly. “Cake time?”

“Dunno, you have to ask Harry.” 

He moves to check on the cakes and looks back down at Kit, saying, “Looks like it is, bug. Get up here and help me ice this thing.” 

Kit rushes to her chair again, nearly tripping over her feet as she goes and Niall sets out forks and small plates while Liam readies the candles, just to be reprimanded by Niall right after, swatting at his hand saying, “Hey, that’s not your job. Sit down.” 

Harry looks over as he’s icing the cake with Kit to see Liam pouting at the table as the rest of them do something and whispers to Kit, “Your Daddy always hates not being able to help in the kitchen. He gets very stroppy.” 

Kit doesn’t seem too fazed by Harry’s words, too determined to get the icing done. She tries to help Harry along and just smears chocolate all over her hand instead. Harry laughs, letting her guide his hand and by the time they’re through the cake is iced, even if rather sloppily. 

Harry wipes his fingers on a dishcloth and then helps Kit clean her hands. They set the cake up at the table and Niall places the candles in the shape of a 28 and then they sing Liam _Happy Birthday_ while Daisy claps in amusement at the flames. 

Liam laughs in frustration at the way the candles relight and sighs out in frustration, saying, “Jesus, I haven’t had a trick candle since uni.” 

“Gotta keep you young somehow, Leemo.” 

The cake goes over well. Liam thanks Harry for helping Kit make it and Niall stifles a laugh with his hand at the way Harry’s eyes widen in shock at all the credit going to a four year old before he catches on to the teasing tone in Liam’s voice. 

Liam laughs as he opens his present, reaching up and placing the bow on Niall’s cheek and shaking his head at the way Harry’s mouth turns down in a pout but stopping short as he gets the paper off completely. His mouth goes slack and he turns the small thing over in his hands, thumb running along the side. 

Liam’s eyes are sparkling and a bit wet when he looks up at Niall and Harry’s heart swells at how happy Liam is. 

It’s not much. Just a framed picture of the five of them at Daisy’s first birthday with a picture Kit drew of Harry, Liam and Niall with the word _family_ underneath taped to the back, but Liam loves it and that’s all that matters. 

*

By the time Niall heads out for work Kit’s lying on the sofa, knees tucked up against her chest, yawning uncontrollably. She tries resisting taking a nap, insisting that she has to stay awake the whole time because Liam can’t be alone on his birthday but she’s yawning around her words so Liam just picks her up, carrying her up the stairs, saying, “Don’t worry sweetie, Harry’s going to keep me company while you nap. You have to get some rest so we can continue the celebration when Niall gets home, okay?”

Harry follows behind with Daisy, whispering to her as they go, “I envy you, kiddo. Haven’t even been up for four hours and already off for another nap.” 

She grabs at his shirt collar, saying, “No.”

“No nap?” 

“No!”

“So you do want a nap?”

“Haiwwy.” 

Harry’s pushes open the door to her room, flicking the lights on and placing her in her crib, saying softly, “Oh Daisy, naps are the best. One day you’re going to miss all this time you have for them.” 

She closes her hand around his fingers, trying to keep him in place. “Stay.” 

Harry laughs, settles down in the chair by her crib and says, “Alright, bug. I’ll stay until you’re asleep.” 

Liam peeks his head in right as she’s finally dozed off and Harry mouths for him to be quiet before getting up and following him out the door.

Neither of them say anything until they’re back downstairs. Harry settles into the chair while Liam chooses a seat next to him on the sofa, picking up the remote but not turning on the telly, instead just turning the remote over in his hand nervously, finally saying, “So we’re just not going to talk about you getting upset this morning?” 

Harry toys with his bottom lip, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts and then laughs. He knew Liam wouldn’t want to wait until tomorrow, he just thought he might last a bit longer than this.

“I told you what I wanted, Liam.”

Liam fidgets in his seat, putting the remote down and looking at Harry directly. “Harry, please.” 

Harry hates making Liam sound like that, tired and concerned, so he gives in. “Fine. Alright. Okay. I’ve been really happy with you and I care about you so much and I understand that this isn’t exactly the easiest thing to navigate but it just took me off guard to hear you deem me just a friend. That’s it. I’m sorry.” 

He feels like even more of an arse saying it out loud but Liam’s smiling at him, reaching out for his hand, saying, “Will you come here?” 

He pulls Harry onto his lap, and then says, mouth curling up teasingly, “You know you’re a bit of a dick sometimes?” 

Harry settles his knees on either side of Liam, pressing down against his thighs, “Shut up. I’m lovely.” 

Liam nods in agreement and Harry knows that they should probably talk about what Niall had mentioned earlier but he doesn’t want to ruin Liam’s birthday with such a heavy topic. Besides, Liam is licking at his lips and Harry just wants to give him a proper birthday gift. 

Liam’s laughing again, saying, “Yeah, a lovely, needy, dick.”

“You’re not making a very good case for me giving you your birthday present.” 

“Will you stop trying to distract me from having this conversation?”

He’s laughing but he’s also got a firm grip on Harry’s hips and Harry knows he’s being serious. Harry rolls his head from side to side. “I don’t know what else there is to talk about. We’ve already established that I was being a dick. Come on, Liam. I’m sorry.” 

Liam’s eyes are tracing the features of Harry’s face, brow furrowing at the way Harry’s pouting slightly. “No need to apologise. I’m sorry I upset you. I think you’re so much more than just a friend, Harry. I’m just not --” 

“Ready to tell Kit,” Harry finishes for him. “I know and I think that’s the best idea. No need to get her and Daisy involved before we suss out what exactly this is. I was just being a baby this morning. Now can we drop it?” 

Liam gives him another once over, “Yeah, alright. I just don’t like upsetting you.” 

Harry dips down and kisses him, saying against his mouth, “It’s fine. Now will you _please_ let me blow you?”

He’s climbing off of Liam’s lap, placing his hands on either of Liam’s thighs, looking up at him expectantly, “Please?”

“What? Right here?” 

“Yeah, the girls are asleep and Niall won’t be home for hours. You just have to be quiet.” 

Harry smiles at the way Liam spreads his legs slightly, jaw slack, eyes darting from the stairs to the the hall leading to his bedroom, considering. His voice sounds ragged when he speaks, as if he’s working hard to keep it calm, and Harry only becomes more smug. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Harry moves his hands up Liam’s thighs, taking in the way Liam’s breath hitches as he thumbs at the seam of his crotch and the way his voice is breathy and rough when he says, “And I’m _always_ quiet.” 

Harry doesn’t bother to correct him. He knows that’s not true but Liam gets off on the challenge, so he doesn’t mind letting him pretend. Liam’s half hard just from having Harry kneeling in front of him asking to blow him and Harry works slowly to get him the rest of the way there. He undoes his belt, pops the button of his jeans open and unzips him slowly, thumbing at the line of his cock as he does. Liam lifts his hips for Harry to push them and his pants out of the way and Harry laughs into Liam’s thigh at the way he sighs out in frustration when Harry doesn’t start touching him immediately. 

Harry bites at Liam’s leg and rubs his thumb over the head of Liam’s cock and Liam’s hips jerks forward and that’s what Harry likes best, being able to make Liam lose his composure for just a moment. 

“And you say _I’m_ needy.” 

Liam’s head is thrown back on the sofa and his voice is strangled. “Shut up. I get to be needy on my birthday.” 

Harry wraps his hand around Liam loosely and Liam throws his arm over his eyes and bites at his lips to stifle the low throaty groan he makes at the pressure of Harry’s hand on him. He doesn’t move his hand, not until Liam looks down at him, eyes coloured in desperation, “Harry, _please_.” 

Harry moves his hand then, slowly, leaning forward to where his lips are millimeters from the head and looks up at Liam, tongue darting out to where it barely touches the tip, “Well it’s no fun if you’re not watching.” 

“You’re so fucking --”

Liam’s words trail off into a loud groan as Harry finally gets his mouth on him proper, sucking hard at the tip and licking up and down the underside of his cock before swallowing him down fully. His cock hits the back of Harry’s throat and Liam’s thighs close in tighter around him and Liam’s hips stutter beneath but ultimately doing a rather good job of staying quiet, which is unusual and frustrating to say the least. 

Harry pulls off for a moment to catch his breath, jerking him off instead, and Liam’s got his head thrown back and his mouth hidden in the crook of his elbow. Harry thumbs at the head of Liam’s cock, smearing the spit and precome around, and Liam sighs out softly, muffled against his arm. 

Harry pulls Liam’s arm away from his face, bites at his hipbone as he does and says, “You’re being very quiet today.” 

“You told me to--” 

His breath hitches and he lets out a little breathy _ah_ as Harry gently teases Liam’s balls while ghosting his lips over the underside of his cock before kissing the head messily. 

“-- _be quiet_. And now you’re just - _fuck_ \- teasing.”

Harry’s laughing as he swallows Liam back down and the vibration elicits a low guttural sound from the back of Liam’s throat and Harry smiles around him, looking up at him smugly through his lashes to see Liam biting down at his lips, trying not to make anymore noise. 

Harry lets Liam’s cock hit the back of his throat again and feels Liam’s hand on his shoulder, nails pressing in against the thin material of his shirt as Harry moves up and down his cock. Harry tries to urge him to just _fuck his face already_ but he doesn’t. He stays relatively still beneath Harry, hips stuttering just the slightest bit now and again, thighs clenching and unclenching around Harry’s sides the closer he gets to coming but he never does more than that. 

Harry’s jaw is starting to ache by the time Liam comes down the back of his throat and he pulls off with a shaky breath, wiping at his mouth and dipping back down to press a quick kiss to the head of Liam’s over sensitive cock, looking up to see Liam’s head thrown back and mouth red and swollen from biting his lips to stay quiet, saying smugly, “Happy birthday, Liam.” 

Harry leans back on his heels while Liam gathers his composure. He pulls his jeans back up and then looks back at Harry, motioning down at his crotch, saying breathily, “Are you gonna let me…?”

Liam trails off as Harry starts shaking his head, smiling and saying, “Nah, birthdays are for getting not giving.” 

Liam laughs, helps Harry up off the floor and shakes his head slightly. “I think birthdays are for whatever I want them to be about.” 

Harry’s eyes perk up at where this could be headed but then there’s a loud thud and Kit’s voice from the top of the stairs saying ‘oops.’

They laugh at the timing and rush over to the edge of the staircase to see Kit making her way down the stairs slowly, Peppa the Pig sitting haphazardly near the bottom. 

Kit smiles down at them, looking at Liam with wide eyes saying, “Sorry. Peppa wanted to say happy birthday, too.”

Harry whispers against the shell of Liam’s ear, “I guess we’ll have to wait on that,” and Liam kicks at his foot before picking up Peppa, telling Kit, “That was very kind of her. But it could have waited until nap time was over.” 

Kit makes it down the stairs and looks up at Liam apologetically. “She was just excited, Daddy.” 

Liam picks her up and kisses her forehead. “It’s fine. We’ll make an exception this one time. Birthdays are exciting. I understand.” 

*

Niall comes home with take away from Liam’s favourite Thai place down the street. With the encouraging enthusiasm of Kit, Niall convinces them to watch _Toy Story_ like he and Liam apparently used to do on his birthday back in uni. Harry thinks it’s probably Niall’s attempt to bring back some sort of tradition in the absence of the ones Liam’s made with Addie, but Harry can’t be sure. It could also be Niall’s way of getting back at Harry for calling them old this morning.

He settles in next to Liam, head resting on his shoulder, Kit cuddling up next to him on the other side while Niall puts Daisy to bed. The movie starts and Harry feels the weight of worrying about tour and leaving Liam and the girls and how that will pan out settle into his bones. He dozes off to the sound of Woody telling Buzz that he’s just a toy and wakes up to Liam’s shoulder shaking in laughter as Kit says through a yawn, “No Daddy. I already napped on your birthday. Have to stay up with you.” 

He rubs at his eyes and catches Niall looking back at him amusedly, asking, “Who’s the old one now? Falling asleep during an hour and a half movie before ten.” 

He sits up, shaking his hair out and flips Niall off behind Liam’s back and then Liam gets up, carrying a crying Kit with him. “Oh honey, I already let you stay up an hour past your bedtime.” 

Her response gets lost as they head up the stairs and Niall clears his throat, smiling knowingly at Harry, “I see you two talked.” 

Harry hums his assent, yawning more. 

“So you two are good now?”

“Yeah for now. Didn’t see the point of potentially ruining his birthday with the whole ‘what are we going to do when I have to leave’ talk. Especially since we don’t even know if we’re going to make it that far.”

Niall rolls his eyes at that. “I think you know as well as I do that it’s going to make it that far. But you’re right. That’s probably not a talk for someone’s birthday. But you can’t just put it off forever.” 

Harry jumps, startled by Liam asking, “Can’t put what off forever?”

Harry stands up, giving Niall a warning look before turning to Liam, smiling, “Sleep. Can’t put off sleep forever.” 

Liam looks between the two of them curiously but doesn’t say anything. Niall just laughs out, saying, “If only your fans knew you turned in at ten on a Friday night.”

Harry throws the remote at Niall’s lap and kisses Liam goodnight, apologising for not being able to stay up later on his birthday and then heads to his room. Even though he’s terribly tired he lies awake for hours tossing and turning. He can’t seem to shake Niall’s concerns or figure out a way to approach the conversation without putting unneeded pressure on Liam so early in whatever it is they’re doing. He settles on avoiding the conversation until he gets a better grasp on how much permanence this relationship has or until Liam brings it up himself. 

*

He spends the rest of the weekend trying not to be caught in a room alone with Niall as to avoid being interrogated about talking to Liam and on Monday he meets with Jude for lunch and gets the low down on what’s to come for the week. 

She tells him they’ll be in and out of meetings until Thursday and then, grimacing, says, “And then, Harry, we really need to get you in the papers for something. Stir up some press about you to go along with the announcement of the album release.”

Harry goes to say something about how he’s been in and out of the papers since he got back with speculation about his next album, how he’s coping since Addie’s death, and what exactly he’s trying to accomplish by playing dad but he knows that’s not what she means. He bites his tongue, and says thickly, “Alright. But it’s Kit’s birthday so we’ll have to work around that.” 

Jude’s eyes light up and Harry cuts her off before she says anything. “Don’t get any ideas, Jude. You know how I feel about the girls being in the papers.” 

“But Harry. The press loves a good ‘pop star takes kid out for a big day’ story. And it might be your last chance to do it with the mad rush we’re about to go through to get everything ready for the album release.” 

“No, Jude. I am not using her birthday as publicity.” 

She smiles at him disgruntledly. “You know you make my job very difficult, right?” 

“You love me, though.” 

She clucks her tongue, pursing her lips together, “Will you at least think about it? If the opportunity arises?” 

Harry leans back in his chair, frustrated. He knows that it would be good publicity and that it would probably benefit him in the long run -- to give the press and the fans something to sink their teeth into with regards to the whole raising two kids with two of his mates thing -- and he knows that Liam doesn’t mind the whole thing. He just doesn’t like it. He wouldn’t feel right about taking her out just for the benefit of getting good press from it, especially on her birthday. 

“If something comes up to where it’s not just the paps following us to dinner, I’ll think about it. But don’t get your hopes up.” 

*  
He barely sees Niall all week and though it looks like the issue of figuring out how to handle being gone while being in a _something_ is a lot closer to needing to be sorted than he had hoped, he doesn’t really have the time to think about it with how busy he is the whole week. On Tuesday he’s in meetings all day finalising the release date for the album and devising a plan for promo; Wednesday he picks what single he wants to release first and tries not to fall asleep while he’s pitched video ideas; Thursday he nearly pulls his hair out in frustration when he finds out the scope of the tour his team has planned for next year. 

By the time he gets home on Thursday he doesn’t want to do anything but go to his room and fall asleep but he’s greeted at the door by a smiling Kit jumping up and down in front of him, saying excitedly, “Tomorrow I’m four!” 

He leans down, yawning, and boops her nose. “Yes you are, bug! And what are we going to do to celebrate such a milestone?” 

Liam’s standing at the edge of the staircase, smiling down at the two of them fondly. Harry’s stomach swoops and his heart quickens just the slightest. Kit grabs Harry’s hand and pulls him toward the living room where Niall’s sat at the sofa, saying, “Listen to Niall on the radio!” 

Niall looks over from the sofa, eyes crinkling up in amusement, “You’re going to do what?” 

Liam comes up beside Harry, hand on Kit’s shoulder, “Kit, I told you we had to see if that was alright with Niall first.” 

Kit sets her face in her tried and true puppy dog eyes and blinks up at Niall, saying, “Pleeeeease, Niall.” 

Niall looks back at Liam confused, scratching at the hair at the base of his neck. “I don’t understand what you need my permission for to listen to the radio.” 

Harry settles in next to Niall on the sofa, rest his head on his shoulder and listens to the conversation unfold, exhausted. 

“She wanted to go pick you up from work tomorrow and then go to dinner. Listen in on your show for a minute. I told her we could pick you up and then go to dinner but she’d have to ask you about seeing the inside of the studio.” 

Harry peeks his eyes open to see a faint flush creeping over Niall’s cheeks as his smile takes over all his features, feels the low rumble of his laugh vibrate through him when he says, “Yeah I don’t think that’ll be a problem. She can come in and do the send off with me. Say goodbye to the nation for the weekend. You know Zayn loves kids. He’s not gonna say no.” 

Niall has his arm around Harry, fussing with the longer bits of hair around his ear, and Harry turns into him, snuggling closer when Kit jumps on him. 

“Oof. Hi, bug. Excited about your day tomorrow?” he asks, rubbing at his eyes to try and stay awake. 

“Yes! You’ll take me?”

“What you don’t want your Daddy to take you?” 

Kit shakes her head vigorously and Harry looks past her to see Liam shaking his head softly, saying amusedly, “Seems Kit likes the two of you more than me.”

She turns around scandalised, “Daddy. No!” 

Liam laughs, picking Kit up and twirling her around before kissing her forehead. “I’m just kidding,” then he says to Harry, “We’re going to spend the morning together. Taking her to Legoland. She wanted to do something with the two of you, though.” 

Harry leans back against Niall, asking, “How’s that sound? Okay with me dropping in on your show, too?” 

“I dunno man, might need to bring Zayn a slice of cake for that one, he kind of hates you.” 

He’s laughing and Harry pushes at his face. “Shut up. Everyone loves me.” 

Niall swats at his head, “Yeah and you never let us forget about it. Now get off me, you’re making me hot.”

*

Harry doesn’t last trying to stay awake much longer. He eats a banana and a small bowl of cereal for dinner and then heads to bed before it’s even time for the girls’ bedtime. He’s settled into his bed, tweeting off _Huge announcement tomorrow xxx_ when there’s a quiet knock on his door. 

He puts his phone down and calls for them to come in, expecting Niall, but seeing Liam peek his head in through the door, asking nervously, “Can I talk to you for a minute?” 

Harry’s pulls the edge of his duvet up, hopes this isn’t the conversation he thinks it’s going to be, and calls Liam over, joking, “Yeah alright. But don’t take advantage of my tiredness by asking me to make you three dozen candied apple or something. You know I’ll agree to anything when I’m tired.” 

Liam settles in next to him. “Candied apples? Why would I need three dozen candied apples? 

“I dunno, Liam. To cure your sweet tooth. To woo new clients. Just to see me work with caramel and chocolate sauce. There could be several reasons, really.” 

Liam laughs beside him and Harry sinks down further in the bed, resting his head on the pillow and looking up at Liam through half closed eyes, trying not to fall asleep when Liam clearly needs to get something off his chest, “What’s up?”

Liam fiddles his thumbs together where he has his hands clasped over the duvet and looks at Harry seriously, concerned, “Is something wrong, Harry? Because you’ve been avoiding Niall since my birthday and you haven’t had dinner with us once this week and I know you’re busy but I just feel like you’ve been ignoring m-us..” 

Harry turns over on his back, sighing into his hands in frustration and he feels Liam shrink away a bit beside him and that just makes him even more frustrated. This is exactly what Niall was talking about and he has absolutely no idea how to handle it or even how to begin talking about it. 

He looks up at the ceiling, sighing again, “I’m just tired. Seems I’ve forgotten how exhausting business meetings are. And Jude thinks we should use Kit’s birthday as a photo op to stir up some good press along with the album announcement tomorrow and Niall’s been doing. Well that’s a story for when I’m not exhausted. Honestly, I’m just a little stressed, Liam. I’m not trying to ignore anyone.” 

Liam slides down in the bed next to Harry, propping himself up with one hand on his cheek, looking down at Harry sympathetically. “Sounds very stressful.” 

His lips are quirking up into a smile and Harry rolls his eyes, pushing at his chest until he topples over. “It _is_ stressful. I’m trying to protect your children’s privacy! And making up lost time for an album is exhausting. Jude doesn’t let me drink enough coffee.” 

“You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met. You do know you’re an adult and can drink as much coffee as you want, right?” 

Harry shakes his head because Liam’s missing the point entirely. “Yeah but she’s right it makes me all jittery. But that’s not the point! The point is not my lack of coffee!”

“I know. It’s that you’re tired and you’re obviously cranky and worried about something. But honestly, how are we going to do this,” he motions his hands emphatically between the two of them, “if you can’t even talk to me about the things that stress you out?” 

Harry laughs in spite of himself and shakes his head, “We don’t even know what this is and you’re worried about it not working?” 

Liam nudges Harry’s shoulder with his, saying softly, “Oh, hey. Don’t be like that.” 

Harry’s being unfair. He knows that. But he hates being reminded how fragile of a situation they’re in. He leans over and bites at Liam’s collarbone, laughing when Liam swats him away in surprise, and concedes, “Fine. Fine. You’ve convinced me. I’ll tell you when I get stressed. But like, don’t get mad when I call you at two in the afternoon when you’re in the middle of the studio with some hot new girlband to tell you about burning Kit’s cheese toastie. Because this is what you asked for.” 

“You’re insufferable. Absolutely insufferable.” 

“And you’re taking away from my beauty sleep.” 

Liam leans in and kisses Harry, smiling as he says, “You’re gonna need it if you’re gonna get papped with Kit. She’s gonna show you up.” 

He’s getting out of the bed before Harry registers what he’s said, belatedly grabbing for his wrist, “What? No, hey. No. We don’t have to do that. It’s not like getting papped is going to significantly reduce my stress. It’ll be fine.” 

Liam squeezes Harry’s hand reassuringly, shrugging. “You getting papped with Kit entering the Radio One building is better than my sisters emailing me stories from The Sun about me and Niall being the reason you still haven’t announced an album yet.” 

Harry turns over on his side, pulling the duvet up around his shoulders, mumbling into his pillow, “Maybe you’re right. I’ll let Jude know. She’ll probably send you a fruit basket for convincing me to do it.” 

*

Harry sleeps in more than usual. He wakes up well past noon and checks his phone to find two messages from Jude. A short one with too many exclamation points saying happy album announcement day and the other reminding him to tweet about it before the day is done. 

He sends off: _Will do. Oh also, taking Kit to Radio One to meet Niall for dinner today if you want to send a pap to get us going in the building or something._

He takes a picture of Jude’s first text and puts it on instagram with the caption: _Breathe. 07.10.14 xxx_

He sets his phone back on the bedside table and heads to have a shower. The house is quieter than usual and he figures that Liam has already left with Kit for Legoland and tries not to feel guilty about not saying happy birthday to her before she left for the day. He finds Niall downstairs, lying on the couch with Daisy on his chest, a half eaten piece of cake and an almost empty glass of milk in front of him and Harry’s heart drops. 

“Did you have cake without me?”

Niall sits up slightly and Daisy yawns into his shirt. “No. I think the new kid at the office might think I’m cute. Or Zayn’s a dick and told him that my birthday was a week earlier than it is and had him send me cake. I dunno.” 

Harry moves Niall’s legs to where he can sit, placing them back over his lap and leans over to rub the back of Daisy’s head in greeting, grabbing the cake, asking through a mouthful, “Why would he do that?” 

“Because Zayn’s the studio prankster? But probably because he knows I like cake and wouldn’t mind getting some a week early.” 

Niall raises Daisy up and then dips her back down to blow a raspberry against her stomach, causing her to grab at his face in glee. He bends his legs so his heels nudge the side of Harry’s leg, saying, “I was going to save the rest of that for him. Now you really should bring him a slice of cake when you come tonight. Seems fair.” 

He sits up fully and fixes Harry with an amused smile and then places Daisy in her baby chair. “If I’d known it only took a bit of cake to get you to stay in the same room with me by yourself I’d have bought you one Monday.” 

Harry smirks back at him. “Dunno what you’re talking about, Niall.” 

Niall rolls his eyes, picking up the plate and finishing off the milk, huffing out, “I give you one _solid_ piece of advice and you act like I told you to break up with him.” 

“I have done no such thing. You’re exaggerating.”

He tries not to laugh at the way Niall’s pursing his lips and just smiles up at him innocently. 

Niall shakes his head as he heads to the kitchen, calling back, “You’re a fucking liar is what you are.” 

Harry looks at Daisy bouncing in her baby chair and presses a finger to his lips, whispering, “Don’t let your Daddy hear you say that word, Daisy.” 

Harry can’t help but laugh when Niall comes back from the kitchen, hands on his hips, looking an awful lot like he does when Kit says she’s put her toys up but hasn’t. 

“I’m going to talk to him. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just trying to figure out how to approach it. I don’t want it to seem like I’m...” 

Harry trails off, rubbing at his brow in frustration. “Look. I don’t want him to feel like he has to do this. Or like I’m abandoning him again by doing my job.” 

“Oh, Harry,” Niall says sadly, sitting down next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, bringing him in for a cuddle. “He’s not going to think that. You just have to talk about it so you’re both on the same page before you do have to leave. That’s all I was trying to say.” 

Harry knows Niall’s probably right but he just can’t help but feel anxious about inevitably having to talk about this. He knows it won’t be the same as it was last time but he doesn’t really like the idea of having to leave, even if it is for promo and tour, right when he and Liam have gotten to such a good place. Doesn’t want to potentially ruin all the happiness they’ve found by being gone all the time. 

*  
Liam gets home with Kit half an hour after Niall leaves for work. He puts Daisy down for her nap, sitting with her until she falls asleep while Kit has her bath, needing to be coaxed into her nap by Liam saying, “If you don’t have one you’ll be too tired to go see Nialler at his show today. Do you really want that?” 

Harry thinks about hiding in his room and pretending to have a nap of his own as to avoid feeling dreadfully guilty by looking at Liam and knowing he’s not talking to him about what’s stressing him but he figures that would just make him feel more guilty so when Liam peeks his head into Daisy’s nursery to tell him to follow him, he goes. 

Liam drags him by the hand into his room, not saying anything the entire way there and Harry’s nerves go a little haywire, thinking Liam’s going to corner him into talking but all Liam does is crowd him up against the door, smiling back at him, saying, “It’s been a while since we’ve - well - done anything together, really.” 

The tension that had been building up in his shoulders in the time it took them to walk to Liam’s room evaporates the moment Liam touches his thumb to Harry’s bottom lip, rubbing gently, saying teasingly, “You should probably use more chapstick, y’know.” 

Harry licks at his lips, grazing Liam’s thumb slightly as he takes it away. “Could do, yeah.” 

Liam has one hand on Harry’s hip, thumb dipping down below the waist of his jeans and scratching slightly at the soft skin as it does, the other thumbing at one of the buttons of Harry’s shirt and Harry feels anchored in place, not able to do anything but say breathily, “If you wanted to do something all you had to do was ask.”

Liam smirks at him, biting at his bottom lip, “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

He pulls Harry forward, turning him around and then backing him up until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. He’s got his hands on Harry’s shirt again, stilling at the buttons before looking up at Harry for permission, asking, “May, I?” 

Harry’s dick twitches at Liam asking for permission and tries to keep his voice even when he answers. “Yeah, yeah ‘course you can.” 

He undoes Harry’s buttons slowly, then pushes it off even slower, trailing his fingers across Harry’s collarbones as he goes. He runs his hands over Harry’s chest, rubbing his thumbs quickly over Harry’s nipples and Harry feels like he’s on fire underneath Liam’s touch. He stills his hands at Harry’s hips, scratching at the skin above the waistband of his pants with his thumbnails, once again looking at Harry for permission, “Can I?” 

Harry’s so hard, he’s aching underneath the zip of his jeans, and he knows he sounds desperate in his response. “ _Yes_. Of course.” 

Harry’s head starts to spin with how slow Liam’s moving. It feels like it takes him five minutes to get his belt undone and his trousers off and then he just stops, looks at the hard line of Harry’s cock straining against the thin fabric of Harry’s pants and waits.

Liam pulls his top off. Takes his belt off and pops the button of his jeans undone. He steps out of them slowly, placing them on the chair by his bed neatly and then stands in front of Harry, eyes hooded and smirking, asking seriously, “Can I take your pants off? Can I touch your cock? Can I blow you?” 

Harry thinks at this rate he’s going to pass out before Liam even gets his hands on him if he keeps fucking asking for permission. He doesn’t even try to keep his voice steady, there’s no point, “God, Liam. _Yes._ Okay. Yes.”

Liam moves quicker, with deliberation, strips Harry of his pants and pushes him further back on the bed, straddling Harry’s lap but still not touching his dick. Harry might cry he’s so desperate. “Liam, please.” 

Liam touches everywhere but Harry’s cock. He runs his nails across Harry’s inner thighs, he traces the dip of Harry’s v-line, he palms at his own dick, looking right at Harry as he does and makes this low, guttural sound of relief and then he moves back, lowering himself so he can kiss at the soft skin right below his hips, cheek nearly grazing Harry’s cock as he does. 

Harry can feel Liam’s smile against his skin and he wants so much. He digs his hands into Liam’s duvet to keep him grounded, and closes his eyes, desperate not to beg. 

Then Liam says, “Come on Haz, it’s no fun when you don’t watch.” 

Harry laughs. “Ah, that’s what this is about. Getting me back for teasing on your birthday.” 

Harry props himself up on his elbows, looking down at Liam to where he’s barely centimeters away from the tip of Harry’s cock, smiling up at him cheekily. “A bit, yeah.” 

Harry shivers at the feel of Liam’s hot breath against his hard cock, and asks, “Are you going to make me beg for it?” 

Harry’s hips jerk forward involuntarily as Liam finally touches him, licking at the head of his cock quickly, correcting, “Beg more for it, you mean.” 

He kisses at the head messily before saying, “Could do. But no. Been wanting to suck you off since my birthday, anyway.” 

And then he does. He places his hands on Harry’s hips to keep him still, which is probably for the best because Harry doesn’t know how much he could keep his hips still with how worked up he is. Liam sucks hard at the tip, then licks down the underside of his cock, peppering soft kisses on the way up before swallowing him down. 

His mouth is warm and wet and Harry doesn’t think he’s going to last long at all with the way Liam hollows his cheeks out around him and laughs when Harry starts shaking underneath his grip with the amount he’s trying to keep still. 

It’s the way Liam’s throat flutters when Harry hits the back of it and the way Liam lets go of his hips right as his hips jerk forward, letting him fuck into his mouth, that ends up sending Harry over the edge. He comes down the back of Liam’s throat and Liam pulls off with a pop, wiping the remnants of spit and come from his swollen lips. 

He straddles Harry again, pushing his pants out of the way to free his cock and Harry reaches out to touch it, wipe away the bead of precome forming at the tip, but Liam just smacks his hand away, saying, “Nah, I got it.” 

He moves his hand deftly and Harry can’t do anything but watch. He reaches forward and touches Liam’s hip and he makes this soft noise at the back of his throat and Harry wants to hear it again. He digs his thumbnail into Liam’s hip and Liam bites his lip hard, stroking himself faster, thighs squeezing around Harry’s waist so he does it again. 

Liam spills over his hand with a muffled groan into his shoulder right as Harry’s imagining what it would be like for Liam to be bouncing on his cock while getting himself off. Liam rolls off of Harry with a sigh, and Harry takes his hand, licking it clean, saying, “No need to go and dirty a flannel.” 

Harry feels Liam’s arms shake in laughter beside him and he feels warm and light at being able to do that. It’s only enhanced when Liam leans over and kisses Harry’s shoulder, saying, “You know, I’ve heard that sex works wonders for stress relief.” 

He bites at his lips to keep from smiling too much,, “Yeah, I think you might be right.” 

* 

He had meant to get Kit to the studio twenty minutes before Niall’s slot was up. So she could really see what he looked like working but he had waited until the last minute to give her his gift and that delayed them quite a bit. 

It wasn’t anything he had expected her to love so much -- just an old green scarf that he hasn’t worn in ages. 

When he gives the scarf to her, Liam hides his mouth in his hand, eyes crinkling up in recognition. Kit scrunches her face up for a minute, not understanding until Harry kneels down so he’s eye level with her, saying, “Your mummy gave this to me when I first got signed. She said to me: ‘H, every star needs a signature look. This could be yours.’ She was teasing. But you know what, I liked it. Thought you might, too.” 

Kit reaches out and touches the scarf, running the material between her small little fingers, asking, “Mummy’s?” 

“Yeah and now it’s yours.” 

She’s so excited to have something that belonged to her mother that she insists on wearing it right then. Harry helps her put it in her hair and that’s why they end up being late. It takes him and Liam far too long to figure out how to style it without it swallowing her entire head.

By the time they make it to the studio he’s so rushed to get her inside and to Niall that he forgets all about the paps taking his photos until he checks his phone while Niall is gathering Kit in his lap for the send off to see a text from Jude saying thanks for cooperating. 

He sends back a quick _no problem_ and then watches on quietly as Niall tells his listeners that his favourite person in the whole world is in the studio with them, tickling at Kit’s sides and making her giggle. 

Zayn shakes his head fondly, saying, “And he doesn’t mean me.” 

“Right you are, Malik. I don’t mean you at all. Kit, do you have anything to say to my listeners?” 

Kit goes quieter than she ever has before and Niall laughs, saying into his mic, “She’s not usually shy like this, but anyway. Have a good weekend, folks. Today I’m off to celebrate a very special birthday with a very special bunch of people. So I leave you with Annie Mac to get you pumped for the start of your weekend.” 

*

The next morning he wakes up to a message from Gemma reading: _See you’re now taking the kids out on your own. Proper dad-like of you._

He thinks life would be a whole lot easier if Gemma never read the paper. He sends back: _Shut it. Thanks for congratulating me on a new album though._

He brushes his teeth and skips his shower, making his way down stairs with matted hair and sleep sticky eyes to grab an apple and a bottle of water. He sits at the table and scrolls through his mentions on Twitter to see what the response to the album announcement is like. Half are about the album -- most questioning if _Breathe_ was the name of it or if Harry was telling them to breathe because an album was coming out -- and the other half is in response to the pictures of Harry and Kit walking into the radio station, Kit wearing that old headband of his. 

The speculation of what the significance of her wearing it gives Harry a headache and he decides it’s best not to look any further into his mentions. Gemma texts him back right as Liam’s coming into the kitchen, hair a rumbled mess, joggers barely hanging onto his hips, saying: _Oh, yeah. Congrats on that, too. I want all the details on what it was like recording that with your lover boy._

Harry nearly drops his phone when Liam leans down and kisses his shoulder, whispering into his skin, “Getting more comfortable at the house, Hazza? Haven’t seen you in the kitchen topless before.” 

Harry leans back against Liam, smiling up at him teasingly, “Have you been keeping track of my toplessness?” 

Liam runs his fingers through the bits of hair around Harry’s ears, scratching at his scalp, “Mmm. Maybe.” 

This is nice. Liam admiring him in the kitchen, sun seeping in through the curtains and warming his skin, house still quiet while Niall and the girls sleep. He feels calm and at ease. Like he belongs. Like this is where he’s supposed to be. And yeah, he has to figure out where this is all going and how to navigate the waters once he’s gone but right now, it’s him and Liam making breakfast and sneaking kisses and that’s enough to ease his worry for the time being.

* 

The week leading up to Niall’s birthday is even more hectic than the one before. Everyone around him seems to be handling things a lot better than him -- except maybe Jude -- and he knows this was a stipulation of getting more time on writing the album but he’s _tired_ and he’s starting to regret needing to take time away from work to get his life together. 

Enough strings had to be pulled to rearrange the schedule so he could write the album his way that he doesn’t complain. Wouldn’t feel right doing so. He has naps between meetings and downs a cup of coffee when Jude’s not looking before his photoshoot. He goes home at night and tucks into bed almost immediately, waking up and starting all over. On Thursday he starts his two day video shoot for his new single and Friday afternoon it wraps and he thanks the crew for coming together on such short notice to get this done with him and tells Jude not to call him all weekend unless it’s an emergency because he needs to sleep for the rest of it. 

He gets home to Daisy walking unevenly toward the front door with Kit giggling right behind her encouragingly, Niall and Liam looking on from the sofa. Her feet stutter and she nearly falls as Harry shuts the door but Kit steadies her with a hand around her elbow and they both look up at him excitedly, Daisy saying, “Haiwwy.” 

Harry’s tired but Daisy’s smile makes him feel warm and energised, leaning down and saying, “Daisy Chain! Greeting me at the door. How kind of you.” 

She reaches up and grabs at his hand. “Home!” 

Warmth radiates through him as she holds his hand in greeting and he feels bad for not spending time with any of them all week. “Yeah, bug. I’m home.” 

Kit’s pullig Daisy back, trying to get her to walk back to the sofa, and looks back at Harry, almost chiding, “You’re gone a lot.” 

Niall coughs, stifling a laugh and Liam says, “Kit. Harry’s been busy. That’s not a very nice way to greet someone.” 

Harry stands up, looking up at Liam in thanks and Kit takes his hand, dragging him along too. She apologises quietly and then looks back up at him smiling, “You missed a tea party with Peppa.”

Harry settles into the chair by Liam, picking Daisy up and bouncing her on his legs, smiling at Kit apologetically, “That simply won’t do. We’ll just have to have another one, won’t we?” 

Kit breathes in sharply, excited, looking as if she didn’t expect that outcome at all. “Really?” 

“Of course. We’ll do it Sunday.” 

*

He stays in the living room long past he should, not able to force himself out of the chair and up the stairs, even after the girls have been put to bed, he’s just too tired. He’s curled up with his knees tucked up against his chest and chin, dozing off when he feels Liam’s hand on his shoulder, warm and gentle, coaxing him awake, voice low and soft next to his ear, “Come on, Haz. Sleep with me tonight.” 

His wants to, he really does. Liam’s bed is bigger and more comfortable and his pillows are fluffier but he just doesn’t see that being a good idea. “No, no. I’ll just stay here. Kit might get curious. Start asking questions again.” 

Liam runs his fingers through the hair that’s fallen in front of Harry’s face, moving his legs away from his chest, and pulling him up. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll fuck your back up like that.” 

Harry lets himself be guided into Liam’s room. He’s right. Harry would mess his back up sleeping in that chair and Liam’s bed is better and they usually wake up before the girls anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem. 

Liam helps him out of his clothes then into bed and Harry feels warm and content curled up next to Liam, head resting on his chest. He falls asleep with Liam’s fingers carding through his hair and wakes up with his arm slung low across his hips. 

He tries to get up and out of bed without waking Liam, but fails completely. Liam starts stirring the moment Harry moves his arm from around his hips, opening his eyes slightly, saying voice low and gravelly from sleep, “Mmm stay for a bit. It’s Niall’s birthday. Gonna need the extra sleep for what Zayn and Louis have planned.” 

Harry considers it for a moment, but thinks better of it. In the light of day and with a well rested head he doesn’t want to further risk giving Kit the opportunity to ask more questions and force their hand on explaining or lying again. 

“No, I should really get back upstairs before everyone wakes up. Have a shower. Figure out what to get Niall. Try and set up a dinner with Gemma or call my mum.” 

Liam’s pouting up at him and Harry almost gives in. He squeezes Liam’s hand before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and getting up, laughing at the way Liam groans in disappointment, “You are very demanding in the morning.” 

Liam turns over, resting his head on the back of his arms, smiling at Harry. “Just trying to relish the time we have alone together.” 

There’s a pang in Harry’s heart at Liam’s words and he knows Liam doesn’t mean anything by it other than trying to get him to stay in bed but it makes Harry uneasy all the same knowing that eventually he’s going to have to talk about leaving. 

“So what you’re saying is you only like my company when we’re alone together? Are you embarrassed of me, Liam?” 

Liam lets out a low laugh before throwing his pillow at Harry. “You are too much Harry Styles. Just too much.” 

Liam gets out of bed and walks toward his bathroom, looking back at Harry for a moment before slipping out of his pants, saying, “And I guess I couldn’t convince you to stay and have a shower with me.” 

Harry shakes his head as Liam walks into the the bathroom, feeling light and easy again. “You drive a hard bargain but no.” 

Liam peeks around the corner after starting the water, smiling at Harry teasingly, “Has anyone ever told you that for a pop star you’re pretty boring?” 

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that after tonight.” 

Liam disappears back into the bathroom, calling back, “That better be a promise, Styles!” 

*

That night Harry takes the girls to Gemma’s. He thanks her with her favourite bottle of wine and tells her that he and the boys owe her. She tells him he can make it up to her by taking her to dinner next week to fill her in on what’s been going on in his life and Harry thinks that’s a fair trade. 

Liam had made it sound like Zayn and Louis had an extravagant night planned out but at nine o’clock the three of them all pile into a cab together heading toward Niall’s favourite bar. Niall gets stopped at the door by a girl with long red hair and Liam and Harry head toward the back of the bar where Zayn and Louis are sat a table with their heads tucked in, whispering. 

They pull away quickly as Harry and Liam approach them and the guilty look on Zayn’s face makes Harry wonder if they’d been talking about the two of them. Liam doesn’t seem to notice though, pulling out the chair next to Louis and sitting down, laughing, “Thought we were gonna do some all night adventure, Tommo?” 

Louis shakes his head, agitatedly, “ _We were_. Had it all setup and everything but then someone,” he looks over at Zayn sharply, “let slip that it involved someone jumping out of a cake painted as the Irish flag and well, Niall said no.” 

Zayn’s hiding his guilty smile in the palm of his hand and Liam’s shaking in laughter beside Louis. 

“It’s not funny, Liam. We have come to this same bar for the last five years for Niall’s birthday. I thought it’d be nice to spice things up a bit. Shoulda known better than to involve Zayn. Can’t ever keep anything from Niall.” 

Zayn leans over and whispers to Harry, “That’s the only thing he had planned. Night woulda been miserable had I not told Niall about it and saved us the trouble.” 

Harry stifles his laugh in his hand and lets the worry about Louis and Zayn talking about them fall away. Niall finally joins them with a tray of drinks much to Louis’ dismay, “Niall. It’s your _birthday_ you’re not supposed to be buying us drinks.” 

Niall just shrugs. “You can buy the next ones. Besides these were half off. The woman bartending loves my show apparently.” 

*

The night passes quickly and before he knows it his limbs are loose and words slower and Liam’s cheeks are flushed red from the amount he’s had to drink and Harry’s distracted. Zayn’s saying something about dancing or France or something when Harry realises how much he loves this. He pushes at Liam’s leg under the table, smiling right at him, saying, “We should really do this more often.” 

Liam smiles that warm fond grin that he saves just for Harry and Louis and Zayn share a look that would probably have Harry more concerned if he hadn’t had anything to drink and if Liam wasn’t looking at him like that. 

Niall claps him on the back, laughing, “See you’ve gotten to your sentimental drunk stage.” 

Harry pushes at Niall’s face, making the rest of them laugh, “See if I ever appreciate your company again.” 

He turns to Zayn, saying happily, “Zayn appreciates me. I brought him cake the other day. Everyone loves cake.” 

He leans in for a cuddle, nuzzling his head against Zayn’s neck and Zayn wraps his arm around him, laughing. “You only brought me cake because you ate mine.” 

He leans away from him, looking back at him scoffing, holding his heart as if he’s wounded, “How could you think so lowly of me?” 

Zayn tilts his head to the side, fond and amused. “You’re so full of shit, Harry.” 

Harry leans forward, stage whispering, thumb pointing back toward Niall, “He ratted me out didn’t he? That bastard.”

He looks between Niall and Zayn, feigning disappointment, before turning to Louis. “You appreciate me right, Lou? I’d never give away your birthday plans?” 

Louis shakes his head in disbelief. “Yeah, man. ‘Course I do. But I’d never tell you my birthday plans. Can’t trust you not to blab ‘em in excitement.” 

Harry leans back in his chair, laughing. “You’re all awful. I’m delightful.” 

After a beat of Liam smiling back at him just the same, eyes crinkling up like they always do when Harry’s being especially ridiculous, he says, “Least I can count on Liam.” 

Liam kicks at his foot under the table but looks around at the others smugly, laughing when he says, “Course you can.” 

Louis and Zayn look at the two of them curiously and Niall just shakes his head, muttering under his breath, “Fucking saps, the lot of you” and Harry sighs, leaning back in his chair, happy and content with the four of them. 

*

Last call comes and though they’ve all slowed down and started sobering up a bit, Niall and Liam head to the bar for one last round of shots to end the night and Harry’s left at the table with Louis and Zayn. It’s almost as if Louis had been waiting the entire night to say it, rushing his words out, “What the fuck are you playing at with Liam, Harry?” 

Zayn squeezes Louis’ arm, saying low and warning, “Lou.”

Louis shake Zayn’s arm off, looking at Harry seriously, calmer this time. “You two have been acting very-” 

He stops and looks at Zayn for help finding the right word. 

“Very loved up,” he supplies, mouth quirking up as he says it. 

Louis goes on before Harry can get a word in edgewise, “And it’s not even just tonight. You two have been very _loved up_ since we started working on your album and I’m very-” 

He stops and considers his words, saying thickly, “Concerned. It hasn’t even been a year since Addie died and you’re over here looking at Liam like he hung the goddamn moon, Harry. That’s a lot to put on him.” 

Louis’ words are a punch to the gut and there’s so much he wants to say but nothing comes out, the words are stuck at the back of his throat. Zayn looks at Louis reprimanding, saying gently, “What Louis meant to say, if he had any tact, is that we’re worried about the both of you. Seems pretty obvious that something’s brewing between the two of you and we just . We’re worried, mate. About both of you.” 

Louis is looking at Harry like he’s a ticking time bomb and that spurs Harry into words, trying to stay calm and keep his voice low, “I’m not trying to look at him like anything. And I’m not trying to put anything on him. I’m just..” 

He scratches at his face, feeling a little unhinged, he’s not drunk anymore but he’s definitely not sober enough to be having this conversation. “Look. I’m trying to figure it out. I’ve got Niall trying to get me to talk to Liam about leaving when neither of us even know what the fuck we’re doing and I’ve got the fans speculating about what the fuck is going on between us and what it means that I took Kit out wearing an old fucking headband and I’ve got all this guilt about being in love with my dead best mate’s husband and I’m trying really fucking hard here, Louis, to not put any of it on him. I’m just - he’s happy. I’m just trying to make him happy. I just want him to be happy.”

Zayn puts his arm around Harry and pulls him in for a cuddle and Louis’ face softens, voice gentle and apologetic, “Hey, no. Don’t do the sad face, man. I’m sorry. I’m just worried about him. I don’t think you’d purposely try to hurt him.”

Harry rubs at his eyes, feeling a bit better getting that all off his chest, saying, “I get it. I do. I’m going to talk to him. I swear. I just have to figure it out.”

Louis looks like he’s caught between wanting to tell him sorry again and to not be a selfish dick and just clue Liam in on what’s on his mind but he doesn’t get to say anything more because Niall and Liam come back with the round of shots, both flushed and happy looking, Niall laughing out, “Took fucking forever. Got caught behind a hen party.” 

Liam’s eyes still on Harry tucked up next to Zayn, face falling a bit in concern, asking, “Alright there?” 

Harry sits up, squeezing Zayn’s leg in thanks and smiles his most winning smile at Liam. “Course. Getting a bit tired, though.” 

Liam looks between the three of them, not quite convinced but smiles anyway, passing out the shots and saying, “Drink up boys. Seems someone’s up past their bedtime.” 

*

He wakes up with a pounding headache and Niall knocking on his door telling him that he’s late to pick the girls up from Gemma’s and rolls over in his bed and regrets not drinking the bottle of water Liam had given him before he went to bed last night. He runs his hand through his hair, puts on a fresh top, and pulls on his jeans from last night. He brushes his teeth and grimaces at the bags under his eyes and the way his hair won’t stay the way he wants, knowing Gemma’s going to tease. 

He picks them up right as they’ve finished breakfast and Kit tells him all about Gemma making the best eggs she’s ever had and Daisy won’t stop saying ‘haiw’ and grabbing up at his hair which makes Gemma laugh, saying low to where the girls can’t hear, “Your hair has seen better days.” 

They get home and Kit’s ready to have her tea party right then, so they do. Kit dresses Harry up in a pink boa and a purple floppy hat five sizes too small for his head and then sits him at the table in her room, knees knocking against the side and arse hanging off the sides of the chair. Liam comes in halfway through, right as Kit’s pouring him and Peppa a second round of tea and snaps a picture of the three of them before leaving with a smile. It makes Harry feel at home somehow, balancing on this tiny little chair wrapped in a pink boa listening to Kit tell tales of her and Peppa’s adventures -- which mainly consist of trying to climb the stairs without falling down -- that outside of the reasons pertaining to his thing with Liam he’s dreading leaving because he doesn’t want to miss this. Doesn’t want to miss any time with Kit or Daisy and them growing up. 

He resigns himself to finally talk to Liam tonight and hopes that it won’t go nearly as bad as he’s been dreading for the last two weeks. After the tea party he takes Daisy with him to pick up lunch. Liam and Niall look at him curiously when he goes but he just shakes it off, saying, “Don’t worry about it. Daisy’s all the company I need.” 

It’s a bit silly, really, taking her to get the takeaway when the restaurants only five minutes away and it takes him nearly as much time to strap her into her car seat as it does to get there. But he’s soothed by the sound of her humming something that sounds a lot like the Peppa theme song and the way she giggles when he joins her. 

He sits in the car with her for ten minutes after they’re come home with the food and tries to calm his nerves, talking his way through his thoughts with her. 

“You know how it is, Daisy. Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love. Boy has to go on tour and leave everyone behind.” 

He can see her kicking her feet in the air, saying ‘no’, through the rearview mirror and he smiles sadly, “I know, I know. It’s not exactly the most ideal situation. But what can I do? Can’t really not go on tour, can I?” 

She kicks her feet again, laughing. “I take that as a no. You’re right. I can’t. Maybe I can take you lot with me?” 

Daisy shakes her head back and forth, saying loudly, “Tour!” 

“Yeah, tour. I dunno, Daisy. Don’t think that’d be very fair to ask your dad. 

He finally makes his way out of the car, undoes Daisy from her car seat, kissing her forehead as he does, “You’re a very good listener, bug. But you’re pretty bad at advice.” 

She tugs at his hair as he lifts her up and out of the car and he laughs. Laughs at how much Daisy likes to mess with his hair, thinking maybe that’s a sign he needs to cut it. Laughs at the fact that he’s so stressed about talking to Liam that he’s resorted to talking it out with a fifteen month old baby. Laughs because he’s in love and he doesn’t want to leave but he knows he has to eventually and he has no clue what that’ll do when he does. 

* 

It takes him the rest of the day and well into the night to work the nerve up to start this conversation. He has a nap after lunch when the girls have theirs and then spends the rest of the day in his room nervously pacing between bouts of checking Twitter and sighing heavily into his pillow in frustration. 

He skips dinner to have a shower and by the time he’s gone through every scenario in his head as to how Liam will react to this conversation Niall’s knocking at his bedroom door, asking, “Hey, are you alright, man? 

Harry rubs at his face, kicks at his sheets and psyches himself up one last time before opening the door, giving Niall his most convincing smile, “Yeah. I’m fine. Been working through all the different ways to have the talk with Liam. Think I’m ready.” 

Niall’s face goes slack in amusement before twisting up in laughter. “That’s why you’ve been in here all day? Harry, it’s not - mate, I don’t think it’s going to go as poorly as you think it will.” 

Harry takes Niall’s head between his hands and kisses his forehead with a loud smacking noise. “You might be right. Gotta prepare for the worst though.” 

Niall smacks Harry’s butt as he goes, laughing sympathetically, “Good luck, Harry.”

Harry thinks with the way he feels there’s not enough luck in the world that will get him through this conversation but he heads for Liam’s room anyway, prepared for the worst and hoping for the best. 

Liam calls for him to come in and Harry almost loses all his nerve looking at Liam sitting on his bed, knee tucked up against his bare chest, laptop screen shining on his face. 

Harry coughs nervously, shuffling his feet, saying, “Oh, if you’re busy I can come back later.” 

He’s halfway hoping he will tell him to come back later so he can avoid this conversation again. But Liam shuts his laptop and pushes it away, smiling up at Harry warm and inviting, saying, “No, I was just finishing up an email to Louis. All done now. What’s up?”

He had it all planned out earlier. He was going to talk about caring about Liam and caring about the girls and being so glad that Niall asked him to come along and do this because it’s helped him so much and how he’s so happy doing whatever this is that they’re doing and how he doesn’t want to jinx it by putting any more pressure on it but at some point they would have to figure out what to do when he has to leave. But looking at Liam smiling at him so happily, so content, he can’t find the words. He just says, “Nothing. It’s nothing. Just something the guys said to me. It’s fine. I’ll figure it out. Don’t have to worry about it.” 

Liam seems to catch on. “Is this about whatever you were talking about with Zayn and Louis that upset you last night?” 

He scratches at the back of his neck, looking anywhere but Liam. “Yeah a bit. You know how it is. Everyone’s just worried that I’m gonna fuck everything up and break your heart again.” 

Liam inhales sharply and Harry looks back to see him getting out of the bed, walking over to him, face coloured in confusion. “I don’t - Harry I don’t understand. We’re just taking things slow. This isn’t --” 

And there it is. What Harry had been afraid of. “Serious? Right.” 

This isn’t how Harry had wanted this to go. He hadn’t meant to lead into the conversation like that, but he can’t really start all over and he has to live with the way Liam’s standing in front of him, biting his lip in confusion, shoulders hung in defeat. 

He sits back down at the edge of the bed and rubs at his face before saying sharper than he usually speak to Harry, “No. It _is_ serious. That’s not what I was going to say.” 

Liam’s whole demeanor has changed, he’s defensive and guarded and that’s not what Harry likes to see. He sighs in frustration, shaking his hair out and pushing it back off his face before sitting down next to Liam. “Okay. Good to know we’re on the same page there. But then what isn’t it, Liam?” 

He looks at Liam and Liam doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “I dunno. It’s just not something I want everyone to be talking about. I thought we could figure it out ourselves.” 

Harry laughs desperately, flopping back against the bed, “Well when you’ve got a Louis in your life I don’t think that’s possible.” 

The bed stirs slightly beneath him, Liam lying down beside him laughing, “Guess not.” 

The two of them stay there looking at the ceiling for a long time. Harry feels less nervous but still unsure because they haven’t even broached the subject he’s been avoiding the last two weeks. Liam grabs his hand, squeezes softly and says, “Are you going to tell me what you and everyone else sees that I don’t? Why everyone else is so much more worried about you breaking my heart than I am?” 

Harry doesn’t know how Liam does it. How he can stay calm so much of the time or how he transfers it to Harry, but he does and in this moment he appreciates it more than ever. He breathes in heavy several times before saying, as fast as he can, “It’s just everyone else is thinking about the future. About the album. About me leaving to do promo and tour and not being here. For you. For the girls. For anything.” 

Liam sits up, propping himself up with one hand and looking down at Harry with this look of amazement, asking in disbelief, “Is this what? Are you serious? This is what this whole thing has been about?” 

He lies back on the bed and laughs properly, shoulders shaking and sound coming out in short sharp burst. Harry pushes at his shoulder. “Heyyy. It’s not funny. This is a serious concern! That I’m abandoning you again!” 

Liam sobers up, rolling his eyes. He sits up and looks at Harry very seriously, touching his cheek. “Harry, look at me. Listen. You are not abandoning me again. You are a pop star. I know that. You have a job that requires you to go places and leave home and not be here for good chunks of time. I’ve known that was going to be your life since I met you. And I knew that the first time I slept with you. And I’m still just as aware of that now as I’ve ever been. I don’t expect you to like, not be a pop star just because we’re doing this thing.”

Harry breathes out heavily. That’s nice to know but he still doesn’t feel right. He still hears Louis’ voice in the back of his mind saying _that’s a lot to put on him_ and worries that Liam doesn’t see what the rest of them do, can’t see the way Harry’s hopelessly in love and doesn’t _want_ to leave.

“Okay. But what if I don’t want to leave? What if that’s the problem?”

Liam smiles down at Harry, running his thumb over his cheek softly, “Don’t really see why that’s a problem, though. It’s not like I exactly like the idea of you leaving, do I? But it just comes with the territory. No different than when you used to leave.”

Harry knows Liam’s just trying to make him feel less guilty about this but it’s infuriating how much he’s down playing what they’re doing –- as if it’s not important to him at all -– and Harry feels just as frantic again.

He sits up quicker than he means to and his head spins a bit, ducking his head into his hands and steadying himself with his elbows on his thighs for a moment before saying, “No. It’s really not the same at all. And if you don’t see that then maybe we should cool this down for a minute.”

That’s not what he wants at all. But he can’t have Liam tell him he’s a bit mad for him one moment and then tell him it’s no different than him leaving before because it’s confusing for him and he doesn’t know how to process anything anymore.

Liam straightens up beside him, sighing loudly. “If that’s what you want. Okay. Yeah.”

Harry laughs bitterly at his own self-sabotage and flops back on the bed in frustration, arms splayed out above him. “This is nothing like I wanted this conversation to go.”

He’s still laughing. Can’t seem to stop and Liam’s turning on the bed to where he can look at him better, squinting at him in confusion, mouth parted a bit in amusement. “I’m not really sure what’s happening here. What exactly do you want then?”

Harry presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and wishes he could rewind this conversation to the beginning and go at it differently. “I dunno, Liam. I just don’t know. I want a lot of things but I don’t want to put too much on you or make you feel pressured to feel something that you don’t so I’m just – I’m just trying to do what _you_ want and I just don’t know what that is. I don’t know what any of this is.”

Liam rubs at his brow and flops down right next to Harry, grabs his hand and squeezes, saying firmly, “Haz, you have to stop treating me like I’m going to break at any moment. I know this is complicated but I care about you and you can’t keep not ‘putting things on me’ like I’m made of glass or something.”

Harry turns his head to look at Liam, who’s looking down at him with a hint of fire in his eyes and Harry thinks that’s fair. Thinks Liam deserves at least that. “Okay. I can do that.”

Liam smiles, satisfied. “Good. And as for what this is. I guess we’re dating, aren’t we? We don’t go on dates, to be fair, but we do everything else so –“

He shrugs and Harry’s heart may burst with how happy he is. He didn’t realise how much it would mean to him to put a name on it.

He props himself up on his elbow, touching at Liam’s hip softly, smiling at him teasingly, “Liam Payne, are you saying you want me to take you out on a date?”

Liam purses his lips, feigning disinterest. “I guess I could be persuaded to.”

Harry pushes at Liam’s hip, feeling light and easy and back to normal. “'I guess I could be persuaded.’ God you’re such an arse sometimes. See if I take you anywhere fancy. It’s gonna be all greasy take aways and builders pubs for you.”

Liam leans up and kisses Harry, quick and chaste, smiling against his mouth before pulling away and saying, “Sounds absolutely awful.”

*

They talk a lot that night. About how stressful it is to fit so much work into a two month time span and how he’s a bit nervous about the response to the album because this one’s so personal and how much he cares about Liam. He tells him how he wants to be there for him and for the girls and how he wants to bring them out on tour with him at some point and how happy he is with him. How much he wants to make Liam happy and Liam smiles widely and appreciatively and kisses him until his lips are raw and tells him that the feelings are mutual.

He looks at him in a way that makes Harry feel lit up from the inside out with affection and Harry’s breathless. He kisses every bit of love he’s tried to keep a steady control over the last few months into every bit of skin he can get his mouth on. He fucks Liam until they’re both spent and sweaty, lying on their backs trying to catch their breath.

In the morning he wakes up with Liam breathing steadily against his chest and feels at home. Niall knocks on the door before Harry can bring himself to get out of bed, coming in before either of them answer, eyes covered, joking, “For the love of God, please don’t be naked.” 

Liam’s laughter vibrates through Harry’s chest before he pushes off him, leaning back against the bed frame and rubbing at his eyes and Harry wants to wake up to this every morning –- maybe not the Niall barging in part, but at the very least to Liam.

Niall’s eyes are darting between the two of them and the way the sheets are strewn over them haphazardly, saying very seriously, “You _are_ naked.”

Harry laughs and Liam asks around a yawn, ignoring his previous statement, “Whaddayaneed, Niall?”

His face shifts from disbelief to a quiet kind of concern, saying quickly, “Oh right. Kit’s very upset. Woke me about half an hour ago crying about Peppa and Harry missing tea parties and I dunno, mate. She’s not really making much sense but she’s been asking for you for the last ten minutes.”

He’s looking at Harry and Harry’s simultaneously elated that he means enough to Kit that she’d ask for him after a nightmare and nervous about what exactly could have brought about such a thing in the first place. Niall leaves, saying, “Don’t take too long mate, she’s really upset,” and Harry looks to Liam for help.

“What do – maybe you should go instead.”

Liam moves the sheets away from him, pulling on his pants from last night, scratching at his chest, “Nah, she wants you, Harry. I’ll come up in a bit to make sure she’s alright but I think you should go.”

He pulls the sheets off Harry and throws him his pants, smiling reassuringly, “Come on, you’ll be fine. But she won’t be if you keep her waiting like this.”

Harry reluctantly pulls his clothes on from yesterday, rubbing his hands through his hair to tame it a bit, “Alright. Alright. I’ll go. But if I end up making things worse it’s your fault.”

*

He finds Kit in her room sniffling against her pillow, hugging Peppa tight to her chest and Harry’s heart breaks. He sits down next to her on the edge of the bed, moving her hair out of her face, “What’s wrong, bug?”

She sits up quickly, crawling into Harry’s lap and hugs him tightly, Peppa gone forgotten. “Stay here.”

Harry hugs her back, laughing a little, “Alright. I’ll stay here as long as you like. We can do whatever you want today. Don’t have anything in the diary I’m all yours, Kit.”

She looks up him, eyes watery and face blotchy red, “No. Stay _here_. You’re never home.”

_Oh._ Seems him sorting through leaving with Liam the night before was the least of his worries. This is an entirely different kind of painful.

“I’ve just been really busy lately, Kit. I’m sorry I haven’t been here as much as I was before. Things are gonna slow down here in a bit and then I’ll be around a lot more. Promise.”

She wipes at her eyes and hugs Harry again before climbing off his lap and off the bed. She looks at him very seriously, almost threateningly, “No more leaving, mister.”

He doesn’t know how to tell her he has to eventually. He just gets up and kneels down in front of her, trying to keep the sadness out of his voice, “I’ll see what I can do, bug. But for now, how ‘bout you and me spend the day together. Do whatever you want.”

She smiles up at him happily. “Can Daddy come, too?”

Liam comes in right then, looking at the two of them tentatively, then smiling at the way they’re both smiling.

“If he wants to, sure,” Harry says.

Kit jumps a bit when Liam speaks, not having realised he was there but giggles when he asks, “Are you two scheming?”

“No! Harry’s going to take me out today! Will you come with us?”

He looks at Harry incredulously before telling Kit, “Of course I will. Are we inviting Niall and Daisy?”

Kit shakes her head. “No! Just us.”

He picks her up, looking at Harry just as incredulously before kissing her forehead. “Okay. But you’ll have to break the news to Niall. He’s gonna be heartbroken.”

*

She does tell Niall and he pretends to take it horribly. Play acting that he’s heart broken, lying back on the couch as if his heart is wounded and he’s in terrible pain, bemoaning the day he ever offended Kit in a way that he would no longer be her favourite. She shrieks in laughter and goes to his rescue. Places fake bandages on his chest and kissing the 'wound' to make it better, saying, “There Niall. All better.” 

He picks her up and hugs her to his chest while she kicks her feet up in laughter as he stage whispers, “It’s always nice to show the others attention as well. Make them feel like they’re loved too.”

Harry watches them for a moment, hoping that he’s as good with the girls as Niall is and then Liam presses a hand to the small of his back, laughing against his cheek, “You didn’t have to promise her a day out to make her feel better. You know that right?” 

Harry turns around, looking at Liam’s amused smile and he feels guilty, as if he’s gone and handle the situation wrong. “I told you if I messed up this was your fault.” 

Liam’s smile falters a bit, mouth smoothing out in concern as he presses his hand to the back of Harry’s neck, scratching comfortingly at the base of his scalp. “No, you didn’t mess it up. I’m just saying you don’t have to placate her by treating her to stuff. She’ll be fine.” 

Harry knows Liam’s right but she had been upset about him leaving and well. “Yeah but she told me to stay, Liam. She looked at me with her hands on her hips and told me not to leave anymore, alright. Like, I panicked.” 

Liam’s face transforms into something of sadness and affection and Harry’s heart melts a bit. “Oh, Harry. That’s. Okay. Yeah. I see why you went big.” 

He squeezes the back of his neck, mouth turned down sympathetically, saying softly, “Guess maybe it won’t hurt to tell her what’s going on between us. If she’s already upset about you being gone so much we’re gonna have to prepare her for you leaving for tour. Maybe it’ll soften the blow if she knows?”

Harry mulls it over for a moment as Niall puts Kit back down on the ground, pushing her gently off toward where Harry and Liam are stood, saying, “Kit, when you don’t have as much fun with Daddy and Harry just remember that’s why I’m the favourite.” 

Kit giggles loudly, turning first to stop at Daisy’s baby chair to grab her face between her little hands, kissing her on the nose, “Be good!” 

Daisy kicks out her feet, laughing, catching one of Kit’s hands in hers, saying, “Good!” 

Kit squeezes her hand back, smiling brightly at her, “Yes! Good!” 

Harry tears his eyes away from them, turning back to say to Liam quietly, worried, “I don’t want you to feel pressure to tell her what’s happening just to ease into me leaving. I can handle her being upset with me if you don’t want to involve this in it.” 

Liam pats Harry’s cheek, saying enthusiastically, “I _want_ to. I think I’m ready now.” 

Kit grabs at the leg of his jeans before Harry can say anything, looking up at the two of them expectantly, “Still going?” 

Liam grabs her hand and walks with her to the door, “‘Course we are,” then looking back at Harry, “What’re you treating us to today Harry? Ice cream? Tea? New toys?” 

Kit’s face splits into a grin, letting go of Liam’s hand to clap hers together, saying excitedly, “Ooooh! Ice cream, Harry! Please!” 

“I guess that’s what we’ll be getting, then. This is your day after all, bug.” 

*

Ice cream goes well. Harry buys Kit two scoops on a cone, against Liam’s advice that she’ll drop it, insisting that it’s her day and what would he be if he went against his words and she ends up dropping it. Liam laughs into his hand but doesn’t say ‘I told you so’ and Kit’s face drops into a pout, batting her eyes up at him, asking for another. 

Harry gives in at Liam’s permission, this time insisting that she just get a bowl and the three of them sit at a table by the window and Kit makes a mess of the ice cream, getting it all over her hands and letting it drip down onto the lap of her dress. Harry’s leaning over to help wipe off her hands, dabbing at the specks of chocolate on her dress when there’s a tap on his shoulder. He looks up to see Liam looking at him a bit surprised and Kit looking around Harry, pointing, saying excitedly, “Oooh! Pretty dress!” 

Then Harry hears the voice of a girl, saying happily, if a bit nervously, “Thank you!” 

He turns around to see a girl, no more than seventeen, looking at him sheepishly, rocking back and forth on her feet a bit, asking rushed, “I’m sorry to interrupt but my whole family loves you and it -- oh can I please have a picture?” 

He doesn’t mean to, it’s not as if he needs Liam’s permission but for some reason he feels the need to check and make sure Liam doesn’t mind. He looks at him quickly, gauging his response and then Liam nods his head slightly, smiling and Harry turns back to the girl, standing up, “Of course. What’s your name?” 

The girl blushes and bites her lip, saying, “It’s Jennifer.” 

She pulls out her phone and they stand close, Harry’s hand on her back, hers tucked around his waist, while Liam takes the picture for the two of them. She stands and looks at it, making sure it’s up to par and Liam bites at his lip as to not smirk when she looks up excitedly to say, “Perfect.” 

She says thank you several times and Harry says, “Well Jennifer. It was lovely to meet you. My girl Kit over here thinks you’re lovely, too. Isn’t that right, kiddo?”

Kit claps her hands enthusiastically, ecstatic to be engaged in Harry’s conversation, saying., “Yes!” and then Harry turns back to Jennifer, smiling his most charming smile, like he always does when meeting fans, “Please send your family my regards.” 

And then he leans in closer, just so she can hear, “And can you do me a favour and not post this until tomorrow?” 

She looks at Harry, then at Liam and Kit, smiling softly, and Harry hopes she’s not jumping to any conclusions, saying, “Yeah of course. Thanks again! My sister’s gonna have a heart attack when I tell her!” 

Harry sits back down, watching as she quickly departs the shop and immediately gets on her phone and hopes she doesn’t post the thing immediately -- he’d really like to spend the day with Kit and Liam uninterrupted -- and turns back to Liam to apologise for the interruption. But Liam just smiles at him, saying amusedly, “Always forget that you’re like - you know. That people actually want pictures with you. “ 

Harry kicks at his feet under the table, mouthing ‘shut up’ and gets lost in how happy he is and how normal this feels to be out with just the two of them. Harry had planned to take Kit out somewhere else, maybe stop by a toy shop and buy her something for her next tea party but after they’ve finished she rubs at the corner of her eyes and tries to cover up her yawn, “Where next, Daddy?” 

Liam takes her into his arms and says, “Kit. I think it may be time for us to go home. You’re looking a bit sleepy.” 

She scoots in closer to him, resting her head against his chest and mumbles into his shirt, “I don’t want to. Today’s my Harry, Daddy.” 

Liam kisses the top of her head, brushing her hair off the side of her face when she looks up at him sadly, telling her gently, “And it’ll still be your day after you’ve had your nap. Promise.” 

*

Kit falls asleep on the trip back home and when she wakes up from her naps she spends the rest of the day glued to Harry, barely letting him out of her sight to go to the bathroom. She goes to bed begrudgingly, insisting that Harry tuck her in and won’t let him leave until she’s fallen asleep. 

After, he and Liam discuss telling her about them again. Liam says he thinks it will really help her deal with his absence if she knows that he’s a more permanent part of her life and Harry argues that it might make things worse -- might make her think that he’s abandoning them to which Liam counters that Harry has to let that go. That he has to move past thinking that him leaving for his job is anything like taking off for three months without letting anyone know. 

Harry knows that but he still feels bad knowing that even being gone for the majority of the day the last two weeks has upset Kit this much. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to deal with leaving for weeks at a time knowing that she’ll be devastated. He tells Liam that he needs to think about it, talk to Gemma at dinner tomorrow before they do anything. Liam gives him that, smiles at him in that way he does every time Harry’s getting worked up and Harry feels all the unease trickle out, calmer. 

The next morning Jude texts him with a reminder that he needs to start tweeting about the single release and that they need to set up a schedule for radio interviews for the day of and finalise the promotional tour schedule. That night he goes to dinner at a little Italian place with Gemma. They sit in the back corner by the bathrooms and Gemma teases him that not even pop stars can avoid getting shitty tables these days. 

He tells her about Liam and how they’re dating and he tries not to blush as Gemma coos and congratulates him. “Harry, that’s great. I’m really happy for you.” 

But her eyes go serious and Harry knows what’s coming before she even opens her mouth, stopping her to say, “Yes, Gem. We’ve thought about what happens when I have to leave for promo and tour and all that. Just talked about it the other night. We’re even thinking about telling Kit about us. That’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Gemma looks impressed. “Never known you to be _so_ level headed about things. This must be really serious if you’re thinking of telling Kit.” 

He wrings his hands together, nervous. “It’s -- Gem, I really love him. I don’t want to leave and that’s so weird for me. You know how it is with me. I miss you and mum and Robin loads. And I miss Niall and the guys and everyone. I miss home but I just don’t -- I never feel the need to not leave. Never like this. Never to where I think facetime or skyping or calling won’t be enough.”

Gemma places her hand over his and rubs her thumb back and forth, calming him, like she has since they were younger. “Does he know how you feel about him? Does he know that _you’re_ the one who doesn’t want to leave?”

“I mentioned it. But never like that. He thinks it’s just because I don’t want to abandon them again. I _know_ it’s not the same as when I left before but still. And no, I haven’t told him the extent of how I feel yet. He knows. I can tell he does. I just don’t want to lay it all out there just in case he’s not ready to say anything back. Don’t wanna pressure him, y’know?”

Gemma sips at her wine for a moment, thinking, finally saying, “I think you’re being really good about all this, Harry. I hope it all works out for you. I know this has gotta be a tricky little thing the two of you are in with Ad- with all things considered. But I- you’ve been so happy lately. You don’t call me nearly enough and I can tell you’ve been really happy and I just want you to keep that. And you know what, if you’ve gotta bring Liam and the girls out every once in a while on tour with you and you’ve gotta be a soppy boyfriend and call home twice a day to check in then you do that, okay?”

“Dunno if it’s that easy. Least not the flying them out thing. Liam’s got a hectic work schedule sometimes. But, yeah. I really want to make this work." 

They stay at dinner until well after they’ve finished their dessert talking about the littlest things. After he’s paid and they’re about to part ways he asks her low, and cautiously, feeling a little silly, “Gem, how do you even tell a four year old that you’re dating?”

She laughs outright, covering her mouth with her hand, saying, “Oh, God. I dunno. You just tell them? Say you’re important to each other and that you’re gonna be around for awhile I guess.”

Harry doesn’t think that’s much help, really. But it’s better than what he had in mind so he takes that piece of advice home with him and lets Liam know that yeah, if he’s alright with telling Kit then he’ll be there with him to tell her whenever. 

*

They don’t tell her until the end of the week. Harry gets a bit caught up by his mentions on Twitter that night and the fact that Jennifer had posted that picture along with the caption: _met Harry Styles today he looked proper loved up with that Liam bloke and one of the kids he’s been living with_ and spends two days worrying about having to subject Liam and the girls to constant speculation. He’s never really wanted to put all his private life out in the open but before when he had dated it had been different; there weren’t any children and it wasn’t this serious -- not something he felt so protective over so the speculation had been annoying but never something he dreaded this much. He brings his concerns to Liam and like always, Liam calms him somehow, tells him that they’ll take it one step at a time and while he doesn’t fancy the idea of increased speculation about their lives, he doesn’t really want to sacrifice eventually going on that date and Harry’s involvement in his and the girls’ lives just to avoid it, and that they’ll deal with it like they’ve done every day since he’s gotten here -- by trying to pay it no mind.

By the time they do tell her on Friday afternoon, after Liam’s gotten back from the studio and Niall’s left for work, Harry’s worked himself up into such a tizzy that he thinks he might pass out. He sits on the sofa with his hands clasped together trying to stay calm. Kit sits beside him and Liam sits next to him in the chair with Daisy on his lap, bouncing her on his knee before his steadies them both to say, “Kit, Harry and I have something to tell you and Daisy. Well mostly you because Daisy’s a bit young to understand.” 

Kit gets excited at that -- knowing that she’s old enough to understand something that Daisy isn’t -- and sits up a bit straighter as if she’s preparing herself for something super important and Harry wrings his hands together tighter. Liam knocks his foot against Harry's, giving him a look that says _calm down_ and a reassuring smile before setting Daisy into her baby chair, looking at Kit seriously, “Alright. You know how a bit ago you had asked about me and Harry kissing?”

Kit looks between them the two of them very confused. “You do kiss.”

Harry swallows loudly, not wanting to do this anymore, he can’t understand why he’s so nervous. She’s four. She probably won’t even fully grasp what is happening between them. He needs to get it together. 

Liam goes on though. “Yes, we do. We kiss quite a bit more than me and Niall do, right?” 

Kit nods her head along and Liam continues. “Well, sweetie. Me and Harry care about each other a lot and unlike me and Niall -- you know how he said we were kissing friends -- well me and Harry are more than that. We’re like --” 

He stops. Looks at Harry for help but Harry can’t really speak. Liam shakes his head slightly, laughing a bit and moves on, finishing his thought, “We’re dating and that just means that sometimes me and Harry will go out together just the two of us and sometimes we’ll go out like we did on Monday where we take you or you and Daisy with us and Harry’s just important to me, okay?”

Kit looks at Harry then at Liam, smiling. “Harry’s important.” 

“Yes, Harry’s important. Very important.” 

Liam looks at Harry as he says it and Harry’s cheeks flush against his will and he feels so light that he almost misses what Kit says next, “Will he stop leaving so much then?”

Harry swallows so hard he nearly chokes, coughing loudly, Kit looking over at him in concern and patting his leg. Liam looks at him as if to say _this is your part, Harry_ and Harry knows he has to come in at some point. 

He blinks rapidly a few times and then says, “No, bug. Not really. Well sort of. It means I’m going to be here whenever I can be -- as long as your Daddy will have me -- and then sometimes, if you and your sister and your Daddy want to, I can bring you with me and I can call every day from where I am and most of all,” he leans down to where it looks like he’s telling a secret, “presents when I come back!” 

Daisy chimes in from her baby chair with an excited, “Pwesses!” and Liam shakes his head incredulously, saying, “I’m really going to need to teach you not to spoil my children if this thing is going to work out.” 

Liam’s laughing so Harry knows it’s not too serious but Harry says, “It’ll be something small, like a little trinket from pretty places so you can start a collection or something,” just to placate Liam. 

Kit likes the idea, anyway, but her mouth is still set in a pout, saying, “I don’t want you to leave. But if you have to. Okay.” 

Harry gathers her up in a hug, kissing the top of her head, and leaning back to look at her face, smiling down at her happily, “I don’t want to leave either. But I promise when I come back it’ll be like I never left.” 

She looks at him skeptically before saying slowly, “Okay,” and hugging him tightly. 

He looks over the top of her head to see Liam looking back at him beaming and bright and Harry feels loads better, a weight lifted off his shoulders, feeling happy that this went better than expected. 

*

Harry’s so happy that night he can’t hold it in anymore. He wants to go out now, celebrate this little victory of theirs, finally take Liam out on that date. Niall looks at them smugly when he gets home, telling them that he’ll watch the girls but they owe him. On their way out, Niall takes Harry by the hand and looks at him very seriously, mouth set in a thin line, saying, “Don’t keep my boy out too late.” 

He dissolves into laughter right after, clapping his hand on Harry’s shoulder and giving Liam the biggest smile, saying, “No really, have fun. I’ve got the girls as long as you need.”

They thank Niall and pile outside and into Harry’s car, sitting there in silence before Liam laughs quietly from the passenger seat. “Was your car the extent of this date? Don’t think I’ve had sex in the backseat of a car since uni but if that’s what you wanna do…” 

He trails off, shrugging his shoulders while laughing at Harry’s appalled face. 

“Liam, you’re the one who said we never do the date part of the dating! I’m trying to take you on a date. Stop trying to seduce me before we get to it.” 

Harry doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so nervous. He’s been to dinner with Liam so many times, with and without other people, but this is different -- this is a date -- and he wants it to be good. Wants it to be something memorable. Or at least not something they’ve done before. 

Liam swats at his arm, smiling widely, “We’re never gonna get to the date if you don’t drive, mate.” 

“Have you always been this impatient or is it just dating me that’s made you this way?” 

Liam smirks back at him, saying smugly. “Mmm. Dunno. Just excited to see if you put out on the first date.” 

Harry laughs so hard he can’t help but cough, steadying himself on the steering wheel, knuckles white from gripping too hard, breathing out, “Jesus, Liam.”

* 

They head to a small French restaurant a few minutes away and Harry apologises profusely that he couldn’t think of anything more interesting. Liam squeezes his wrist quickly as they walk up to the door and smiles back at him reassuringly, saying, “It’s not a problem, man.”

It ends up being a problem because the wait is long and Harry starts getting restless. Liam calms him with a hand on his knee and a gentle smile and before he knows it they’re being seated at the back of the restaurant. It’s a bit loud and kind of cramped but the lights are dim and the candle on the table flickers, casting light on Liam’s face, making him look almost angelic, and Harry’s a bit mesmerised by it all. 

He’s staring at the way Liam’s lips move as he talks, how he pauses between words to chew on his bottom lip sometimes or how he touches at his mouth, when Liam stops suddenly, mouth curling up into an amused smile, asking, “Harry, are you even listening to what I’m saying?”

Harry straightens up in his chair, staring straight at Liam, arms folded and hands clasped in front of him, in utmost attention. “‘Course. What’re you talking about? Been paying attention this entire time.”

Liam’s mouth quirks up in a disbelieving smile, eyes twinkling in the candlelight. “Of course. What was it I was saying?”

Harry thinks past the way Liam’s mouth moved and tries to recall what words were being said, coughs for something to do and comes up with nothing. He scratches at the back of his neck, embarrassed, cheeks heating under Liam’s amused stare, saying finally, “Erm. Dunno actually. May’ve been a bit distracted by...other things.” 

Liam raises his eyebrow, laughing, “Obviously.” After a beat he says, “I was _asking_ if you were excited about the single coming out next week.” 

“Ah yeah. Bit nervous. But I started the promo countdown for it on Twitter today and the fans seem pretty excited but this album’s a bit more-”

“Personal,” Liam supplies and Harry sighs out relieved that he gets it, adding, “Yeah, personal. But I think it’ll be good. I’ve been having fun announcing it though. Started playing a fill in the blank game today on Twitter to announce the name.” 

Liam smiles, interested, “Oh really? How’s that going?”

“Pretty well, actually. The fans seem to be having fun trying to guess the name! You know the team didn’t like it at first but Jude, bless her, always pushing for my quirkiness, as she puts it, saved me. Anyway, I’m gonna release a new letter each day with the rest starred out and then the date at the end every day until it’s out. I think it’s fun!” 

Liam’s looking at him in that way he always does when Harry’s excited, as if he’s excited just to see Harry so enthusiastic and he says, “Sounds like it. I think they’ll love the song. It’s a good one.”

Harry laughs to himself, feeling it burst through him loudly, covering his mouth in shock, saying finally, “That’s because it’s about you.”

Liam’s eyes twinkle smugly, mouth pressing together in an attempt not to laugh, “Maybe.”

Harry kicks at his shin under the table, saying, “You’re a dick.” 

“Yeah, a dick that you wrote a song about, though.”

Harry loves the way Liam’s face transforms when he’s teasing him. The way his eyes light up and crinkle around the edges in mirth and Harry doesn’t amend, doesn’t say _nearly an entire album_ , he just sits back and enjoys Liam’s company. 

*

They get home and Liam’s at his side of the car, pulling him from his seat before Harry has time to take his seat belt all the way off. They fumble up the steps and Liam bites at Harry’s shoulder as he tries to open the door. Harry pushes back against Liam, hands stilling at the door, laughing, “Will you quit rushing me?” 

Liam’s hands finds Harry’s, moving them out of the way and turning the key to unlock, pushing the door open and Harry into the foyer, laughing against him, “You move too slow I’m just helping things along.” 

The lights are off everywhere but the foyer and the downstairs is quiet, Harry covers his mouth to stifle his laugh before it bursts out, turning to look at Liam sternly, “I do _not_ move slowly.” 

Liam walks Harry backwards toward his room, placating him gently, “No, not all the time. Just like, most of the time.”

Harry stops walking, lets Liam run into his chest and pouts back at him, crossing his arms petulantly, “It’s charming.” 

Liam moves him backwards gently, pushing Harry back up against his door, smiling at him, “Yeah, it is.” 

He presses his lips against Harry’s, soft and quick, and Harry can feel the way his mouth curls up more when they meet and then Liam’s pulling back, reaching around his waist to open the door and pushing him in. Harry stumbles backwards and nearly loses his balance, grabbing onto Liam’s wrist to steady himself. 

“Someone’s in a hurry tonight,” he says, not trying to hide his smugness at all. 

Liam pulls his wrist out of Harry’s grip and moves to start unbuttoning Harry’s shirt, clucking his tongue and laughing, “Dunno what’s given you that impression.” 

Liam’s hands are warm against Harry’s skin as he pushes Harry’s shirt off, pulling him toward the bed by his belt. Harry’s laugh bubbles through him, he’s never seen Liam this desperate from the start and it’s amusing to watch him try to hide it. 

He stills at the bed, sitting down and looking up and Harry needily before undoing Harry’s belt, popping his jeans undone and pausing for a second to gauge his reaction before quickly undoing his flies. 

Harry moves to touch the side of Liam’s face, thumbing over his cheekbone and saying amusedly, “Must’ve been mistaken, then.” 

He backs away and steps out of his jeans. He toys with the waistband of his pants for a moment and Liam’s eyes flash, stifling a small disappointed groan when Harry decides to keep them on. He moves to Liam’s nightstand in search for lube and a condom, placing them at Liam’s side, watching as his eyes close tightly and he lets out a sound halfway between a whimper and a groan. He presses his thighs against Liam’s knees, smoothing out the wrinkles at the collar of Liam’s shirt, saying teasingly, “So you won’t mind that we take this very slow tonight?” 

Liam looks down at the contents by his side and back up Harry, eyes fiery, but face smooth and voice even, “Not at all.” 

Harry knows that’s not true but he lets him have it, anyway. He unbuttons Liam’s shirt excruciatingly slow, pressing his lips together as not to smile too widely at the way Liam’s face gradually falls at just how slowly Harry’s moving. He trails his hands over Liam’s chest, reveling in the way he shivers just the tiniest bit, breathing out noisily in response to Harry’s touch. 

He parts Liam’s legs and slots between his knees, smiling down at him teasingly as he removes Liam’s shirt just as slowly as he had unbuttoned it and Liam’s facade seems to crumble, licking at his lips distractedly, saying sternly, “Harry.” 

Harry throws Liam’s shirt behind him and starts working on Liam’s trousers, looking back at Liam coyly when he sucks in a sharp breath at Harry’s fingers dipping below his waist band in an effort to unbutton his jeans, asking through a laugh, “What? Something the matter?” 

Liam growls low in his throat, pulling Harry down and pressing their lips together, kissing him hard and rough. He pulls back, standing up and turning them around to where Harry’s sat on the bed and Liam looks down at him and rolls his eyes, stepping out of his jeans and pants, dick hard and flushed already, and Harry tries to not let it show how much that turns him on. 

“You’re literally the most frustrating person sometimes. You do know that right?” 

Liam pulls at the bottom of Harry’s pants, urging him to lift his hips, slipping them off for Harry. Liam situates himself of Harry’s lap and Harry smiles back at him happily, groaning as their cocks touch, saying, “I’ve been told I’m frustrating _most_ of the time. But I'm pretty sure you like it.” 

He gathers their dicks between his hand and starts stroking, continuing breathily, “Think it turns you on a bit.” 

Liam’s head falls forward, breathing heavily against Harry's neck, “Dunno what gave that away.”

“Mmm. No clue, think I might just have an intuition about these things.” 

Harry thumbs over the head of Liam’s cock and Liam grinds down onto his lap and Harry wants so much for him to do that on his cock. He stops, grabbing for the lube and Liam whines, “Stop teasing Harry, please.” 

Harry surges forward and kisses him once, hard and smiling, “You are so impatient. What does it look like I’m doing?” 

Harry scoots them back further on the bed and Liam pushes himself forward, falling onto Harry’s chest and reaching for the bottle of lube in Harry’s hand, laughing, “No, I’ll do it. You’re just gonna be a dick and take your time.” 

Harry stifles his laugh in his hand and then Liam moves, scrambling to sit up, causing their dicks to brush together and Harry's laugh gets lost in a low groan, eyes widening at the way Liam brackets his knees around Harry’s thighs, reaching down to start working himself open. 

Liam bites his lip and doesn’t look at Harry, eyes half closed, knees tightening around Harry’s thighs the longer he goes. His eyes snap open when Harry touches him, moaning low and loud, asking, “Can I?” while motioning toward sitting on Harry’s lap.

Harry’s hips buck up involuntarily and his breath hitches at the idea and Liam laughs, smiling smugly as he takes the condom from beside Harry and rolls it down around Harry. He makes to grab the lube from where Liam had thrown it but Liam beats him to it, swatting his hand away and doing it for him, smug smile still in place, saying, “Seems I’m not the only one who’s in a bit of a hurry.” 

“Yeah, seems that--” he starts before Liam begins lowering himself onto Harry’s cock slowly and the words Harry had meant to say just come out as a soft, throaty groan. Liam doesn’t move once he’s fully seated, he just looks down at Harry, eyes twinkling in amusement and Harry knows he’s getting him back for teasing but he doesn’t know how long he’ll be able to take Liam sitting there around him, clenching and unclenching for the sake of it without losing it. 

Harry grabs at Liam’s hips, trying to anchor himself to the moment and that spurs Liam into action. He bounces on Harry’s cock, making these soft, breathy moans as he does and Harry bites at his lips, eyes darting from Liam’s face twisted up in pleasure to where he’s wanking himself off quickly, not knowing how much more he can take. 

Liam’s whines when Harry lets go of his hips but sighs out as Harry moves his hand out of the way to wank Liam off instead. Liam grinds down on him erratically the closer he gets and Harry comes undone underneath it, coming louder than he ever has before, trying to stifle it in his shoulder. Liam follows shortly after, coming with the flick of Harry’s wrist and a swipe of his thumb over the head of his cock all over Harry’s chest, falling forward and breathing heavily between the two of them. 

Liam rolls off of him after a moment, face flushed and eyes shining, laughing, “Guess the payoff was worth the wait.” 

Harry’s laugh is so loud it sets Liam off more and they lie there for a long while, shoulders shaking and chests heaving with the force of their laughter until Liam settles and walks to the bathroom for a flannel, throwing it at Harry to clean himself up before snuggling back down next to him. Harry falls asleep with Liam’s arm slung across his waist and his head resting on his chest. Harry’s never felt happier than he does when Liam mumbles soft against his skin, “Love this, Hazza.” 

*

After their first proper date nothing major changes but somehow everything feels lighter and easier than it had before. They still have the same routine but they kiss more often, no longer having to steal away for quiet moments together where the girls can’t see. No feelings have shifted between the two of them, or at least not on Harry’s part. Liam uses the word _love_ more freely than he had before. He makes a point to tell Harry that he loves his cooking or what he’s wearing or the smell of his new shampoo but he never tells Harry he loves him and that’s fine. Harry’s fine with that, doesn’t expect him to say it when not even Harry can verbally express it to Liam yet. He just enjoys the way Liam’s eyes twinkle when he says it and the way he blushes slightly when Niall goads him into saying something new he loves about Harry at the dinner table. 

It’s nice being able to kiss Liam whenever he wants and it takes away so much stress he hadn’t even fully realised he had not having to tiptoe around them being a thing in front of Kit and by the time he tweets out his last reminder for the single release _Happily :) Tomorrow._ he feels like nothing could bring him down at all. 

*

The morning of the single release Harry gives his first interview he’s done in nearly a year. He’s nervous, especially with it being a live interview because he feels rusty, less charming than he used to. But he’s in the studio with Nick Grimshaw and there’s a familiarity there that puts him at ease so the conversation flows nicely. Nick jokes that it must be a shock to trade the pop star life in for one of diapers, push chairs, and scheduled nap times and Harry smiles easily, laughing along, saying, “It’s been nice. The girls are lovely and my mate, Liam,” he pauses a minute, throat tightening a bit at having to call Liam a mate, recovering just in time, continuing, “well, he needed help and you know Niall, he makes even the most mundane situations exciting. So it’s not been bad at all.” 

Harry’s heart beats fast, hoping Nick won’t question any further about Liam needing help, doesn’t want to go into that on live radio, and Nick doesn’t let him down, his eyes flash sympathetically like he knows what Harry’s worrying about and then he laughs, nodding his head, “That Niall is a magic one.” 

Harry breathes easy, smiling gratefully back at Nick and then continues, laughing quietly, “But you make it sound like I haven’t been out at all since I’ve been back in London. I’ve been to a few parties, gone to a lot of parks, written an entire album. Been busy, mate.” 

Nick smiles, eyes twinkling at the nice segue Harry’s given him, “Right you are. Speaking of the album, is there anything you can give away about it before we introduce your new single? What can we expect from it?” 

Harry thinks for a short moment, playing with his lips as he does, settling on, “It’s a bit. Hmm. I don’t want to say darker. It’s definitely not a heavy musical shift sound wise. But the songs, if you really listen to them -- like this one we’re about to play -- are a bit moodier. Cover sadder content than my previous albums have.” 

Nick wags his eyebrows enthusiastically, saying into his mic, “You hear that nation, good ol’ Harry’s gone broody and _brooding_.” 

Harry laughs loudly, clapping his hand over his mouth and apologising into his mic for the squawking sound. Nick brushes it off, sets him up to introduce the song and Harry’s nerves from before are back, saying as smoothly as he can, “This is my new single _Happily_ , I hope you enjoy.” 

After it’s through Nick has him answer a few more questions, trying to see if Harry will give away who the song is about, asking playfully, “So did everything work out with the lucky someone this song was written about? Or are they still out there holding hands with other men?” 

Harry presses his lips together, trying not to let his smile through. “No, turns out I wrote this song before I had all the facts.” 

Nick’s eyes widen, voice piqued with interest, “Oh, so it’s worked out in your favour then?” 

“I’m very happy at the moment.” 

Nick laughs, shaking his head, knowing very well he won’t get anything else from Harry, saying finally, “Well there you have it folks: Harry’s happy. He’s healthy. He’s a little more parental but still just as charming as he was the last time we had him on air.” 

 

*

He meets up with Jude after and is given a sheet of radio stations and DJs he’ll be speaking with shortly. He has a series of phone interviews set up for the day and that’s when things get shaky. Most of them ask the standard questions: How has it been being away for so long? Was helping raise two children a strain on his writing process? Who’s the single about? Is he looking forward to the album? and so forth. But one interviewer gets a little bold and asks what everyone else seemed to tiptoe around so gracefully, saying toward the end of the phone conversation, “So Harry, you’ve said that this album is a bit moodier --covering sadder content -- so is it safe to assume that the new songs have been heavily influenced by the death of your best friend? And the tribulations of moving in with her husband to help raise their kids?”

Harry swallows loudly, nearly coughing in his attempt to answer, looking to Jude for help, having her stare back at him inquisitively and not knowing how to answer her without throwing the interview off. His voice is thick and full of emotion when he speaks. “Yeah. Addie’s --”

He tries for another direction, getting his voice under control and speaking around Addie’s death, trying to be vague, “Yeah. Obviously. My songs have always reflected, at least I have hoped, that they have reflected where I am in life. So with everything that’s happened in the last year of course the songs will be a bit sadder.” 

The interviewer hums his agreement down the line and Harry feels furious, angry that someone could sound so calm and cavalier about someone’s death -- about _Addie’s_ death -- using it as a way to get info about an album. He tries to keep his voice calm and collected throughout the rest of the interview, wrapping things up as quickly as he is allowed, finishing with, “I think even though the songs are a bit moodier, if you will, the sound is still my sound. It’s still fun to listen to. I’m really proud of this album and I hope everyone likes it.” 

He hangs up the phone and looks at Jude, saying flatly, “Can you make sure no one asks me directly about Addie’s death. I don’t want to be put on the spot like that again.”

Jude’s eyes flash apologetically, reaching out and grabbing Harry’s arm, saying sympathetically, “‘Course I will Harry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think to add that on the list of things not to ask. I thought -- I’m so sorry I thought people would know not to ask something like that.” 

Harry smiles weakly, shrugging his shoulders slightly, “‘S’not your fault Jude. I wouldn’t have thought people would either.” 

*

His day is sad and gloomy after that. Not even Daisy meeting him at the door with a toy in hand, giggling, “Up! Up!” could cheer him up and he avoids Niall and hides away in his room the rest of the day. He obsessively checks his search results on the internet like he hasn’t done since he screwed up one of the verses in his first live performance on television after his first album came out. He’s never quit all together, considering he still checks his mentions to interact with the fans, frequently coming across news articles speculating about him and his love life from time to time. But today he sets out with the sole intention of finding them. He googles his name first and doesn’t find much other than five similar articles speculating whether or not his stint playing house has led to something more between friends, attached with a grainy photo of him and Liam leaving that French restaurant from last week. After, he finds a blurb about the upcoming album and the release of his single and the video for it being set to come out later this weekend and sighs in relief that there’s nothing about his emotional answer to the question about Addie’s death. 

His twitter mentions are not as lucky though. They’re mostly full of enthusiastic responses to the single and anticipation for the video. But between the excitement there’s a few angry fans expressing their outrage that someone would ask such a callous question to him. His fans’ loyalty does the trick to lighten his mood. He’s amused when he sees one tweet about how _Happily_ is definitely about Liam, supported with a four picture photo grid of Harry looking at Liam and a link to the fan account of him and Liam being loved up at an ice cream. His heart clenches and he wonders if he’s as obvious as everyone thinks or if fans are just hyper aware and then he sees the tweet that breaks his heart. 

_@mrsharrystyles321: Stop saying Happily is about Liam @harry_styles isn’t cruel enough to go after his dead best friend’s husband!!!! >:( _

He doesn’t mean to cry. He hasn’t let himself cry over what someone on the internet has said in so long. But it’s the one thing he’s been fighting at the back of his head for so long and to see it vocalised by one his fans pushes him over the edge. He cries about Addie and he cries about Liam losing his wife and he cries about the girls growing up without a mother and he cries about the fact that no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he fought it, he couldn’t help but fall in love with Liam. It’s not right and it’s not fair and it’s at times complicated but he can’t turn it off -- he can’t make himself _not_ love Liam. 

There’s a knock at the door and Harry doesn’t say anything, pulls the blankets over his head and pretends to be asleep so when Niall peeks his head in the door he doesn’t say more than, “Know you’re not asleep, Harry. The girls are down for their naps. Liam will be home before they wake but you can’t hide in your room all day. Kit’s worried you’re sick.”

He kicks his feet out and groans ‘okay’ into his pillow and Niall leaves with a laugh and Harry feels better somehow. He sits up and calls his mum, voice thick from crying and nose stuffy, she doesn’t believe him for a minute when he says he’s alright and that he was just checking in. He explains to her what he’d read and she clucks her tongue sympathetically, voice stern when she says, “Harry, you know you can’t let them get into your head like that.” 

Harry sighs out, long and frustrated, saying, “I know. It’s just. They’re right aren’t they? It is a bit cruel to go for Addie’s husband not even a year after she’s gone?” 

Anne stays silent for so long that Harry thinks she might agree with the statement. That she might tell him that he has been selfish and cruel and that he should have left it alone. But then she speaks and her voice is warm and kind like it always is when she’s trying to placate him and says seriously, “No. It would have been cruel had you fallen in love with him and broken up their marriage. It would have been cruel had you fallen in love with him and pursued him before he was ready -- putting your feelings above his. It would have been cruel had you fallen in love with him and seen that he cared for you too and then pushed him away in an attempt to be noble. Harry it is not cruel to love and it is not cruel to move on. Sure, it’s complicated and it’s by no means clear and concise but I don’t think it’s cruel, no.”

Harry doesn’t know how she does it but he feels better now, doesn’t think he’s a massive uncaring dick like he’d been worrying he was and says, “Okay. Alright. Yeah, I think that makes sense." He pauses, laughing to himself, "You should start an advice column in the village paper, mum.”

She laughs lightly, just to appease him but he knows she’s probably shaking her head, saying anyway, “I’ll look into it.” 

She pauses again and Harry thinks she might be worried about something, only to have his suspicions confirmed a moment later when she breathes heavily, asking slowly, “How are things with Liam?”

“It’s good. It’s really good, actually. We went on a proper date last week and it’s nice. I really care about him, mum.” 

He feels giddy talking about it but there’s a pull at his heart as Anne says, “Oh, darling, that’s good. I’m happy it’s working out,” and he can’t help the words that tumble out after, saying urgently, “But mum, I’m worried. I’ve got to leave soon. I mean tour’s not until next year but everyone’s really pushing for a head on promo tour since I’ve been gone for so long and what if I muck everything up? We’re so good right now and I don’t want to mess it up.”

“Have you talked to him about how you feel?”

“‘Course I have. He says he didn’t expect me to stay. Knew it came with the territory but I just feel. I dunno. Don’t really wanna go. It’s weird though. Never really felt like that before.”

Anne laughs loudly and Harry whines out, “It’s not nice to laugh at my misery.”

“No, you’re right. It’s not. But Gemma was saying the other day that Liam’s made you want to stay put and I couldn’t believe it. Looks like she was right, though. I owe her a dessert now.” 

Harry’s amused by the idea of his mum and Gemma wagering on Harry wanting to stay and is calmed by what Anne says next, “But Harry, you’ve always been so good at balancing being away from home with staying in touch with the ones you love. And I know you’ve never been in a proper relationship while doing any of this but you can do is. You can make this work. It’s no different than keeping in touch with me, or Gem or anyone else you care about. Call him when you can and skype when you miss his face and if you get selfish and need to see him you have the means to do it so don’t let that deter you.”

It’s nearly the same advice Gemma had given him and he realises it’s probably time he accepts that this is what he has to do. There’s no way he can run away from his job and if he’s completely honest with himself there’s no way he’d want that, really. He sighs out, relieved, “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I can get through this. I can make this work as long as Liam wants it to.”

Liam’s given him no reason to think otherwise so he tries to cast it out of his mind and not let it occupy his thoughts anymore. Deciding to move on and fully enjoy the time he has at home with Liam and the girls and Niall while he has it. 

*

On Sunday he’s in the kitchen chopping vegetables for dinner and sneaking a giggling Daisy bits of the cereal she likes when Niall half shouts from the other room, “Are you fucking kidding me, Harry?”

Harry would be alarmed but Liam’s laughter follows shortly after and Kit squeals in shock, saying loudly, “Niall! Niall! Bad word!” 

Harry sets his knife to the side, wipes his hands on a dishtowel and picks Daisy up, whispering to her as they go, “Wonder what’s got our Niall is a tizzy today?” 

Daisy giggles, clapping her hands against Harry’s chest and saying, “you!” enthusiastically and Harry laughs along with her because that much is obvious.

He leaves the kitchen and is met with three sets of eyes on him, Niall looking bewildered while Kit and Liam seem to be equally amused by Niall’s outburst. Niall says, cheeks flushed in emotion, voice forced calm, “Harry, who exactly is your new song about?”

Harry’s eyes light up, noticing the laptop on the coffee table paused on a still from his video of a pair of legs entwined and two hands clasped together above a blanket. Harry smiles widely, trying for innocent, “No one in particular.” 

Niall looks between Liam and Harry and then says, somewhere between amused and exasperated, “You dick this song is about me isn’t it?” 

Kit reaches up for Niall’s mouth, covering it with her small hand, reprimanding, “Niall! Words!” 

Niall laughs, picking Kit up and apologising to her before looking back at Harry expectantly and Harry can’t help but laugh. He shrugs his shoulders, admitting, “Maybe a little. More about Liam though.”

Liam laughs, cheeks flushing slightly. Harry’s chest swells in happiness and Niall looks between the two of them, disgusted, shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I thought you two were in love!”

Liam shakes his head then, saying softly, “That’s even more unbelievable.”

Niall looks victorious, motioning wildly to Liam, saying to Harry, “I told you! I _told_ you.” 

Daisy reaches up and wraps her hand around a curl and tugs gently, demanding Harry’s attention and he says, “I know, bug. Niall’s ridiculous.” 

Niall gets up, scoffing, “Don’t listen to him Daisy. He’s trying to escape his title.”

Harry starts back for the kitchen, Niall following suit, saying happily, “It’s a good song though.”

Niall claps Harry on the back, takes Daisy from his arms so he can continue chopping vegetable and says brightly, “Yeah it’s great. Still can’t believe you thought we were in love and _wrote a song about it_.” 

Harry looks back at Niall right as Liam and Kit are joining him and Daisy at the table and laughs when Liam says, “Should consider getting friends that aren’t songwriters, then.” 

Niall’s outraged squawk is music to Harry’s ears and he tries to stifle his laugh as Niall bemoans the fact that Liam has no loyalty and that being loved up has tainted his priorities. The night passes in laughter, Kit and Daisy giggling as the three of them argue good naturedly over dinner about where Liam’s loyalties should lie. 

This is Harry’s last Sunday at home for a while, he leaves at the end of the week to start his promo tour and he’s glad that he could have one last one like this -- filled with laughter and the girls giggling and Liam at his side squeezing his hand under the table -- to tuck away for when he’s feeling homesick. 

*

Liam’s started a project with a new artist and is barely home the rest of the week and it passes too quickly for Harry’s liking. Before he’s ready to say goodbye Sunday comes back around and Kit’s hugging his leg tightly, looking up at him through teary eyes saying, “Miss you, Harry.”

Harry kneels down in front of her, kissing her forehead and hugging her tightly, “Gonna be back before you know it, bug. Promise to bring you back something.” 

Liam shakes his head, smiling ruefully, mouthing, “You don’t have to do that,” but Harry just shakes it off. Gets up and kisses Daisy goodbye from where Niall’s holding her at his hip, whispering closely, “Gonna miss you the most, Daisy Chain.” 

Niall laughs. “Right in front of me. Harry you’ve no shame, man.”

Harry rolls his eyes “Thought our bond was stronger than than that, Niall. Didn’t think I needed to say I’d miss you the most.” 

Niall’s eyes light up, pushing at Harry’s shoulder. “Still like to hear it sometimes.” 

Harry wraps his arms around the two of them like a sloth, nuzzling his face against Niall’s shoulder. “Gonna miss you. Don’t have too much fun without me.” 

Niall pushes him off, groaning, “Oh God, get off me.” 

Liam clears his throat, smiling at the two of them fondly, saying, “Jude’s gonna be here soon, Hazza.” 

Harry nods, bounces on his heels and looks between the four of them, settling on Kit who’s still sniffling at Liam’s side, saying, “Ah bug, don’t look so down it’ll be alright.” 

Liam and Niall ask simultaneously, “What Kit, we’re not good enough company for you?” and that sets her off laughing. Harry hugs her one last time and then he stands there in front of Liam for a long moment not knowing how to say goodbye to him of all people. Niall takes pity on him and ushers the girls upstairs, giving him and Liam a bit of privacy right before Harry leaves. 

Liam smiles warmly back at him, fiddling with the handle of Harry’s suitcase at the bottom of the staircase and Harry’s overwhelmed by how much he already misses Liam, by how terrified he is of being apart from him for five weeks, by how much he wants to just take Liam with him. 

He sighs out heavily, and Liam motions for him to come to him. Harry walks slowly, not wanting to finalise the goodbye or making it more emotional than he already feels. He sticks his hand out, smiling widely, and Liam’s eyes crinkle up at the gesture. 

He takes Harry’s hand and shakes it. “Oooh. Very formal. That’s all I get?” 

Harry smiles coyly, “What if it was?”

Liam shrugs, mouth turned down in a playful frown, “Hmm. Not the best of goodbyes. But I guess it’ll do.” 

Harry smiles reluctantly, “Shut up. It’s a very proper goodbye.”

“Yeah maybe for your Dad or your granddad but not for your b--” 

He stops short, cheeks flushing the softest shade of pink, biting at his lip. Harry capitalises on the silence, moving in closer, touching at Liam’s hip, “Oohh. Not for my what, Liam?” 

“You’re a fucking arsehole, Harry.” 

Harry pats Liam’s cheek, teasing, “Yeah but you’re the _boyfriend_ of an arsehole, so.” 

He shrugs his shoulders, laughing at the way Liam’s nostrils flare and he rolls his eyes, pushing Harry back softly, joking, “I take it back.” 

Harry’s phone vibrates in his pocket and he knows it’s probably Jude saying she’s there to pick him up. He tilts his head to the side, smiling, “Is that how you say goodbye to all your boyfriends?” 

Liam pulls him in for a hug, finally, wrapping his arms around Harry tightly, hand snaking into his hair, mumbling over his shoulder, “No, only the really special ones.” 

Harry’s phone vibrates in his pocket again, this time continuously and it has to be Jude rushing him. He leans back. Takes Liam’s face in his and kisses him wet, and loud on each cheek, making Liam’s face bunch up in happiness, then leaning back in again, kissing him gently, saying softly, “I’ll call and yeah.” 

He steps back, and Liam hands him his suitcase, laughing, “You’re great with words, mate.” 

“Don’t see you doing much better.” 

Liam smiles widely, raises his eyebrows teasingly, saying, “Yeah. I’ll call and _text_ and yeah.” 

Harry’s overcome with how ridiculous he feels with Liam and how happy he always makes him and that makes leaving easier. He opens the door and places his bags outside, waving to Jude that he’ll be one more moment, and then he turns back to Liam, saying seriously, “I’ll miss you.” 

Liam’s face smooths, eyes going warm and soft, “I’ll miss you, too. Know you’re worried about being gone. But don’t. We’ll be fine.” 

Harry smiles, nods twice and says quietly, “Yeah, yeah. Call you later.”

* 

The first week is easy enough he hits up a few radio stations in each city and talks about the single and plays coy as the hosts ask increasingly demanding questions about who the song is about and if the rumors are true that his developing romance is with Liam or not. No one asks about Addie and though he could ask Jude to put a stop to them asking about Liam he knows that could just lead to more speculation and it’s not too bad as long as they’re not dragging the girls into it, really. 

Saturday, they do a secret set in a coffee shop in Belfast and while at first there are only a few fans by the time he’s set up and played the three songs he’s got a rather large number of excited fans looking back at him adoringly, asking questions over each other and expressing their enthusiasm for how _Happily_ sounds live. He stays as long as he can to talk and take pictures with as many of the fans as he can and when they’re through Jude smiles at him brightly as they’re ushered back into the car by Paul, telling him that Twitter is abuzz with comments about what just happened and wondering if it’ll happen again. 

Sunday, they film a video for his second single in an open field and they have to stop midway through for him to call Liam because the song’s about Addie and he can’t seem to hold it together. Liam soothes him, voice warm and caring, words kind and genuine and nothing like the voice in the back of Harry's mind saying _you’re the idiot who decided to write a song about missing her -- you’re the idiot who thought it’d be a good idea to release it as single -- to name your damn album after it_ or the sad, pitying eyes Jude has given him when he started tearing up. They only talk briefly, he’d been in the middle of fixing lunch for the girls when Harry’d called, but it calms Harry enough to get him through the rest of the shoot and leaves him missing Liam more than he had allowed himself to do before. 

By the time the second week starts dwindling down and they’ve moved on from Ireland and into Europe Harry’s tired down to his bones and regrets agreeing to a five week, nearly non stop, promo tour. He has another secret show in Paris on Saturday afternoon before leaving for Australia and New Zealand for another week. The show he does in Auckland on the Sunday before heading out to America for the final stretch of promo is louder than the other two he’d done. They’d started dropping hints after the first one as to where his next ones might be and it turns out the fans were very receptive to these. They’re loud and rambunctious and impatient for Harry to sing and once he’s done they become grabby and demanding for their questions to be answered and Harry’s face drops more than he wants it to when a woman grabs his arm tightly as he’s making his way through the fans and asks, “Isn’t it weird fucking with someone who’s got kids? Like, especially the kids of your best friend?”

The girl beside her gasps, eyes going wide and apologetic but her friend just stands firm, eyes locked on Harry’s. He feels the skin beneath his collar heating and tries not to let his mouth coil unflatteringly even though his hands are shaking in anger. He steadies himself, breathing in deep before saying calmly, smiling, “Always really loved kids and my friend needed help. Simple as that.” 

He shakes his arm free of her grip and tries not to let the way she looks at him expectantly, as if she deserves more information, get to him and let’s Jude shuffle him out of the building and into another car for another airport. 

He calls Liam on the way just to hear his voice. He worries at the edge of his thumb as the phone continues to ring, stilling only after a groggy Liam answers, voice gruff and sleepy, as if he’d only been up for a bit. Harry’s calmed by the warmth of Liam’s laugh and Kit’s voice in the background demanding that Liam let her speak to Harry, too. The first thing she says to him is that she misses him but then her voice goes harder and he can imagine her wagging her little finger at him as she says, “Don’t forget my presents.” 

He can faintly make out Liam scolding her for being like that and Kit apologises immediately but Harry brushes it off. Tells her it’s his pleasure to bring her gifts and Liam comes back on to tell him that one day he’ll have to stop spoiling her to which Harry just laughs. He ends the call sooner than he’d like when they arrive at the airport and tells Liam through a series of yawns that he should really come out for a few days with the girls. Harry’s tried and not paying much attention but he does notice that Liam laughs lightly, humming his response, seeming to just be placating Harry through his tiredness but Harry’s serious. He wants them to come out with him very much. It’s exacerbated by the fact that Harry hasn’t stopped moving in three weeks and that the tiredness has finally caught up with him but he wants it all the same. He wants to see Liam’s face more than just through a computer screen and hear the warmth in his voice without it being distorted by the phone and honestly, more than anything, he misses the way it feels to sleep in a bed that’s occupied by two people. But more than what he misses he just wants for Liam and the girls to be with him at the last show he does on the release day of the album. 

He doesn’t have the time to properly vocalise any of this, though. The car stops to let them out and Jude looks at him softly, nodding her head to the door and whispers that she’ll help with the bags so he can wrap his conversation up and he smiles at her gratefully, mouthing thank you and finally says goodbye to Liam. Tells him that he’ll call him when he’s settled and that he really should think about taking a short holiday and coming out to America for a bit. 

*

He sleeps the whole way through the flights to Chicago and is still so tired when they’ve settled down at the hotel that he forgets to let Liam know that he’s landed. He wakes up feeling more refreshed than he has since the first week having slept so well with the prospect of Liam and the girls coming out to visit him soon. He showers and gets ready for another day of radio promo and then calls Liam, apologises for forgetting to let him know that he had settled in and starts right back up with where the conversation had ended last night. It’s a lot easier to convince Liam to take a short holiday when he’s fully alert and he ends the call happy and content knowing that with in two weeks Liam, accompanied by Niall and the girls, will be joining him in California.

It leaves him energetic and enthusiastic for the rest of the promo but things are a bit different in America and it eventually leaves him jittery and impatient to see a piece of home once again. He has three secret shows over the course of seven cities and a special one set up for the day of the album release at Disneyland that he’s not even sure how his team secured. But Jude seems to think it is going to be the best one yet and Harry really hopes he doesn’t let her down. America's also different in the fact that the hosts are more aggressive in the way they ask questions, phrasing them in ways that trip Harry up more than previous questions of the very same nature had in other countries. 

He’s somewhere in Florida, all the cities have started to blur together, doing the last interview of the day and he’s distracted by the fact that he’ll be seeing Liam in three days time that the question takes him off guard. The man interviewing him says, voice laced with amusement, “You know, Harry, I have to give you credit, man. You still have a bounce in your step and a glow about you for someone who’s been helping raise two kids under five. That must be burdensome, right? Has to bring down your ability to live the life to the fullest. Can’t really bring a girl -,” he pauses and Harry’s brain finally catches up with what he’s saying as the host seems to remember who he’s talking to, correcting himself, “or anyone - home when you’ve got kids to look after, can you?” 

He’s still smiling, voice light but quietly demanding and Harry just blinks at him, grinning back. His mind’s racing with _it’s not like that you fucking dick_ and _the girls could never be a burden the way answering these questions are_ but he laughs to himself, shoulders shaking with it, finally saying, “You’d think so. But I’ve managed.” 

The host’s interest is piqued, his eyes widen and he looks like he’s successfully caught his first fish, asking, “Oh, so you’ve got a special someone back home?” 

Harry thinks it’s curious how interviewers in America delve persistently into his love life but half seem painfully oblivious to the fact that he’s been linked to Liam back home while the others seem to tiptoe around referring to Liam directly, instead choosing to refer to a vague special someone. Harry can’t tell which this interviewer is but he’s annoyed by it either way. 

He doesn’t let it show, though. Just smiles and says cheekily, “‘Course I do. Got two. Little Kit and Daisy mean the world to me.”

The interviewer, Josh Harry thinks is his name, laughs loudly, eyes lighting up as if he definitely was not expecting an answer like that, saying after settling, “Fair enough. I’ve got two girls of my own and they do tend to do that to a man. Worm their way in your heart and take up stock.” 

Harry feels more at ease hearing that, more comfortable sharing with him than he has been with anyone else, allowing himself to talk more freely about the girls than he ever has before. He spends the last bit of the interview telling Josh about the time Kit had made him and Niall play dress up with her. How she'd donned them in pink boas and floppy hats and smeared bright pink lipstick all over their faces in an attempt to make them both look more fancy. He leaves the studio happy and content. Excited to be nearly through with this whirlwind of a promo tour and to be back at home with Liam and Niall and the girls for an almost solid three months before his real limits are tested and he leaves for a proper world tour. 

*

The two days before California pass painstakingly slow and Harry thinks he needs to send Jude and Paul each a very nice fruit basket after they’re all done for putting up with his neediness in the hours leading up to Liam and the girls arriving at Harry’s hotel. Jude has to remind him sternly right before his last interview of the day that he needs to hint at the show tomorrow at Disneyland because he’s been so out of it all morning that she doesn’t trust him to remember. He smiles at her reassuringly and pats her cheek playfully telling her not to worry that everything will go smoothly. 

It does. The interview is full of good natured banter and questions focused on what they can expect from the album and Harry leaves excited about the album release and what the response will be like. He’s so preoccupied by his nerves about the album that he doesn’t realise how quickly the time passes after he, Jude and Paul make it back to the hotel and is surprised a little after five to hear a knock at his hotel door and an excited giggle coming from just outside his room. 

He opens the door to find a soft, comfortable looking Liam standing before him. His hair is flattened at weird angles from where he’d probably fallen asleep on the plane but his eyes are bright like they so often are and his mouth looks warm and inviting, like always. Niall clears his throat, rolling his eyes as Harry’s eyes snap toward him, saying, “Nice of you to pick us up at the airport, Harry.” 

He’s holding a duffle bag on one shoulder and Daisy at the other hip and he looks tired, mouth turning up in a smile at the way Harry blinks back at him slowly. Harry takes Daisy from Niall and moves aside to let them all in and laughs as Kit grabs at his hand, saying enthusiastically, “Harry. Harry. _Harry._ ”

Daisy joins in and starts grabbing at his hair, wrapping it roughly around her fingers saying, “Haiwwy! Haiwwy! Haiwwy!” and Harry hadn’t realised just how much he’d missed the both of them. He kisses Daisy on the forehead before handing her off to Liam, smiling back at him as he leans down to pick Kit up, twirling her around in the air and making her shriek with laughter before the two of them settle down in the chair by his bed, Kit bouncing on his leg excitedly. Niall sets his bag down and flops back on Harry’s bed, kicking his shoes off as he goes, looking over at Harry and saying through a yawn, “No really, thanks for having us out.” 

“‘Course. Jude’s gonna be chuffed to have someone else around other than me and Paul. I think we’ve been driving her a bit mad.” 

Niall raises an eyebrow, Liam laughs disbelievingly and Harry admits, “Okay. _I’ve_ been driving her a bit mad.” 

Kit climbs off Harry’s lap and onto the bed next to Niall who runs a hand through his hair and rubs at his eyes tiredly, laughing, “Sounds about right. We’ve been living large since you left.” 

It’s nice to be around him again. His laughs makes Harry feel warm and vibrant and juvenile in the best of ways. He laughs with him, reaching over to grab at the pillow above Niall’s head swatting at his chest, saying, “See if I ever invite you out to visit me again.”

Niall flinches away from it and Kit pushes at him, laughing too. Liam comes over, places Daisy on the bed with Niall and Kit before coming up beside where Harry’s curled up in the chair, scratching at the hair at the base of Harry’s neck and looking down at him fondly. Harry pushes his head back into the touch, eyes closing appreciatively for a moment. He looks over at the bed, where the girls are climbing on top of Niall, tickling him as he overplays his reaction in an attempt to keep them entertained and then tilts his head back up toward Liam, asking, “Nice flight? Daisy do alright?”

“Yeah, she’s a lot better flier than Kit is, that’s for sure. She slept most of the way and didn’t cry nearly as much as I expected her to. Only a bit there in the middle when we went through a patch of turbulence. But all in all a very good first flight.” 

Harry’s happy to hear that. “And Niall? Didn’t throw a fit this time did he?”

He looks over at Niall just in time to see him flipping him off, rolling his eyes and saying, “I did _not_ throw a fit that time. They spilled red wine on my white shoes I think I had an appropriate reaction!” 

“You nearly cried, mate,” Liam says laughing and Niall’s eyes go wide, sitting up slightly as to not startle the girls who have started to doze off curled up next to him, saying quietly, “That’s because we’d been traveling all day and I was knackered!” 

He pauses, looking down at where Kit’s now fast asleep, yawning again, “Just like I am now.” 

He fidgets in his pocket, pulling out a small envelope and throwing it at Harry, sliding back up the bed, “Now you two leave us be while we get some sleep. Wake me up for dinner.”

“This is _my_ room.” 

Niall messes with his pillow, resituating Daisy between him and Kit, and waves his hand at Harry dismissively, whispering, “Yeah, but I’m already half asleep in it and so are these two and I doubt you two are going to be sleeping any time soon.”

Liam grabs at Harry’s wrist pulling him up and nodding his head toward Niall. “Right you are.” 

Harry’s face flushes at the way Liam looks back at him and he suddenly feels very aware of every part of his body and the way it feels like Liam can see right through him. He lets Liam guide him back toward the door, stopping only for Liam to call back toward Niall, “Don’t let Daisy fall off the bed or I swear to God, Niall.” 

“Will you stop your worrying! I’ve got this. Go. Let me sleep.” 

It seems that’s all the reassurance Liam needs. He pulls Harry through the door quickly, grabbing for his bag at the door as they go and looking at the room number on the key slip, leading Harry down the hall to the room at the end. Harry rests his chin on Liam’s shoulder as he tries to open the door quickly, laughing quietly as Liam fumbles with the key, whispering against his cheek, “In a hurry for something?”

The light flashes indicating the door’s unlocked and Liam smiles, pushing it open and pulling Harry through with him. He tosses his bag in the general direction of the bed and then holds Harry at arms length, eyes wandering over his frame quickly, almost hungrily and Harry tries not to shiver under Liam’s touch as he reaches out and thumbs over his skin where the tip of his butterfly tattoo peeks out above where his two shirts fall open. Liam licks at his lips and looks back up at Harry, eyes twinkling playfully. “You’ve gotten tanner since you left.” 

Harry nods, mentally berating himself for how easily riled up he is, stuttering over his words as Liam starts unbuttoning his shirts, “Yeah I - Jude and I spent a lot of time - beaches in Australia - pool in Miami--” 

Liam cuts him off with a kiss, pushing his shirts off and pulling him in closer and walking them back toward the bed. He pulls back smiling, raising his eyebrows, “Hmm. Jude’s a lucky lady getting to see you in those yellow swim trunks of yours.” 

Liam pushes him down on the bed, climbing up onto him, legs stretching out around Harry. He dips down and kisses at Harry neck and Harry’s breath hitches at the sensation of Liam grinding down, straddling him, combined with the feel of his teeth lightly grazing the soft skin under his ear. 

“Have you- did you see pictures of me, Liam?”

Liam laughs, breath warm against Harry’s skin, leans back, smiling wide, “Yeah. Ruth’s a bit of a menace sometimes. Sent me photos of you running into the ocean after a beachball a few weeks ago.” 

“Oh really? Trying to make sure your mind doesn’t wander while I’m gone?” 

Liam rolls his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief, “No, more like she was on holiday with her new beau and was trying to rub it in my face that you were gone. 

Harry laughs loudly, clapping his hand over his mouth, “Sounds like Ruth, alright.” 

Liam clucks his tongue in agreement. “Sure does. Now stop talking about my sister you’re ruining the mood.” 

Harry flops back down against the bed. Liam loses his balance a bit as he does, thighs tightening around Harry’s waist in response. Harry asking teasingly, “Oooh, there’s a mood?” 

Liam reaches up and pulls his top off, throwing it to the side of the bed, smirking back down at Harry. “‘Course there is. It’s been five weeks, Haz.” 

He lowers himself down over Harry, face hovering centimeters from Harry’s, breath fanning over Harry’s lips when he says, “Missed you,” before closing the gap and kissing him hard and impatient. 

Harry wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulders and deepens the kiss frantically, increasingly aroused as Liam grinds down against him, the friction of their cocks touching under all the layers sending shivers up his spine. He reaches down between the two of them, undoing the button of his jeans and trying to get the zip down, struggling to do so with the way Liam’s licking into his mouth one second and pulling back to bite gently at Harry’s bottom lip the next. His head’s starting to hurt with how much he wants release and he reaches up for Liam’s hips, flipping the two of them over to where he’s straddling Liam.

Liam’s lips are bright red and his chest is flushing pink all over and Harry doesn’t know what he wants to do first. He settles for sucking a mark into the dip of Liam’s collarbone, laughing as Liam sighs out breathily, “That’s going to show!” 

Harry pulls back, looking at his handiwork and then kisses Liam quickly on the lips before kissing down Liam’s chest, looking up to say, “‘Course it will. That’s the point.” 

Liam sucks in a sharp breath, hips jumping forward slightly in response to Harry scratching lightly at the soft skin right above the elastic band of his red pants peeking out over the top of his joggers. He pulls them down slightly to reveal the tip of Liam’s dick, kissing at it quickly before sitting back up to the dismay of Liam, asking, “What d’ya want tonight, Liam?”

Liam props himself up on his elbows, looking at Harry in disbelief. “Thought that was pretty obvious.”

He pulls Harry forward, kisses him again, slower this time, pulling back after a long moment and saying right against his ear, “But if I have to specify: I’d like to fuck you.”  
Harry’s head falls forward against Liam’s shoulder, sighing softly, “ _Oh._ ” 

He feels a blush creeping up his chest and down his neck, dick painfully hard beneath his jeans now, rushing to ask, “Do you have- I don’t have anything with me, do you?” 

Liam pushes gently at Harry’s shoulders, rolling him off his his hips, and getting off the bed and helping Harry out of his jeans and pants before he answers. Giving Harry a very thorough once over before saying, “‘Course. Might’ve come here with a mission.”

It’s not that Liam’s not assertive or straightforward about what he wants in bed; it’s just Harry’s never seen him quite like this. There’s a certain undercurrent of hungry desperation that’s present in the way Liam’s looking at Harry and it’s driving Harry a bit mad. He needs Liam to touch him immediately. 

It takes him too long to rustle through his bag for what he needs and it takes him even longer to step out of his joggers, only taking his pants off when Harry whines involuntarily at Liam returning to the side of the bed, condom and packet of lube in hand, fabric of his pants tantalisingly stretched taut against the hard line of his cock. He drops his pants and laughs when Harry writhes ever so slightly on the bed and Harry sighs out breathily when Liam touches his hip lightly, saying, “Don’t laugh at me dickhead. You’re just as desperate as I am.”

Liam doesn’t say anything, looking at him fondly and then covering his fingers in lube, warming it up before brushing the pad of his thumb gently over the rim of Harry’s arsehole, smiling at the way Harry moans as he slips his index finger in slowly, saying, “You’re right about that.” 

Liam opens him up slowly and Harry tries to stay still, not wanting to let on just how much he’s missed having Liam’s hand on him, failing miserably when Liam lowers his head as he finally slips a third finger in, licking sloppily at the head of Harry’s cock before swallowing him down. The sensation of being fingered open and sucked off is almost too much, Harry’s hips buck forward and Liam laughs around him, and Harry pushes down against Liam’s fingers, whimpering out, “Ready, now. Come on.” 

It’s a sign of how desperate Liam is, too, that it doesn’t take more than that to have him pulling off of him, rolling a condom on and slicking himself up with absolutely no prolonged teasing to speak of. There’s a moment where he pauses after lining himself up before he pushes in that he takes to rack his eyes over Harry one last time, pausing at the redness peeking out between the ink of his tattoos, finally sliding in as Harry pushes back against him, smirking. 

Liam fucks him slow and steady. His arms bracket Harry’s shoulders and Harry reaches up and wraps his legs tight around Liam’s waist, pulling him in closer, skin flushing redder and moans tumbling out louder with every thrust of Liam’s hips, digging his fingers into the flesh of Liam’s back every time he hits Harry’s prostate. Harry’s close before Liam even touches his dick and the feel of Liam’s warm hand wrapping loose around him is overwhelming. He creates a steady rhythm between the stroke of his hand over Harry’s cock and the pace at which he thrusts into him and Harry comes so forcefully it leaves him breathless for a moment. His eyes roll back as Liam works him through it, fucking into him faster, more erratically, coming not too long after Harry’s legs have fallen down around Liam, loose and heavy after his orgasm.

Liam rolls off him, lying down and breathing heavily next to Harry, wiping his hand on Harry’s chest and laughing softly as Harry wrinkles his nose up, saying, “We’ll have to have a shower before we wake Niall for dinner or we’ll never hear the end of it”

Harry turns his head to the side, taking in Liam’s heaving chest, the dark red mark at his collarbone and the way his bottom lip is swollen and red from how he’d been biting at it, and shakes his head softly. “We can do that in a minute. Just lie with me for a bit. Tired now.” 

Liam nods his head, smiling back at him so intensely that Harry’s taken aback a bit. He takes Harry’s hand in his and brings it forward, pressing his lips against the back of Harry’s palm. They lie there together, fingers intertwined, breathing steadying slowly as their bodies cool down, only getting up to have a shower when the dried spunk on Harry’s chest starts to itch and he can’t take it anymore, dragging Liam out of bed and toward the bathroom with him. 

He has every intention of just washing off quickly but Liam’s body is firm and wet against his in the small hotel shower, scratch marks fading slightly but still red against the skin of Liam’s back, making Harry’s cock stir in interest at how easily and how much Liam enjoys being marked. They get off quick this time, Harry’s hand wrapped around their cocks stroking them off quickly as the water washes over them, breathing into each other’s shoulders as they come. Liam laughs as he washes their hands and chests off, shaking his head slightly and Harry can’t help but laugh too at how unbearably happy he is, cramped in a small shower as the water around them runs cold, just to be in the presence of Liam again. 

*

They order room service that night, piling on almost everything that they want, Liam only putting his foot down when Kit tries to get three desserts, and they sit around and watch as the girls faces light up as the food is delivered, amazed by the trays of food and the way someone rolls them in on a cart. They gorge themselves on all the food and Liam lets the girls stay up later than he usually would because they’d been so good on the plane and slept so late during their nap. 

At midnight, after him and Liam have gone back to their room, Niall and the girls having taken claim to his, Harry briefly lets himself check twitter to gauge the response to the album and only stops when Liam kisses the side of his neck and takes the phone away from him, whispering quietly, “Don’t do that to yourself tonight, Haz. They’ll love it. Just focus on tomorrow and how you’re going to keep Mickey Mouse impressed.” He pauses, laughing against Harry’s neck, “Dunno if he’ll love the hair.” 

Harry leans back against Liam, shaking his head, “You’re awful. Mickey’s gonna love me. Especially my hair.” 

Liam pulls Harry up and into bed, setting his phone on the bedside table and setting an alarm for him, kissing him slowly until the only thought left in Harry’s mind is about the softness of Liam’s lips against his own. Worry and nerves about how people will respond to these set of songs and if they’ll embrace the darker nature of the lyrics left behind. 

In the morning they wake up tangled together, Jude calling ten minute after his alarm goes off, voice chipper and excited as she says, “Harry! The fan response is out of this world for the album so far. Like, best response you’ve had thus far if I’m being honest.” 

Harry sits up in bed, sheets falling around his hips as Liam stirs awake next to him, voice coming out quiet and shocked, asking, “Jude are you fucking with me just to get me excited about this show today? Because you don’t have to I’m already stoked to play some new songs.”

He has a feeling Jude’s rolling her eyes with the amount her voice sounds exasperated. “No, Harry. I’m being serious. It’s good. The response is great. Now get your butt going we’ve got a long day ahead of us.” 

He hangs up feeling more motivated than he has since he first went in the studio and can’t keep the awe out of his voice when he tells Liam what Jude called about. Liam kisses him on the cheek, squeezing his hand tightly, saying, “I told you they’d love it.” 

“Yeah, you did.” 

Liam gets out of bed, rubbing at his chest as he yawns, and looks down at Harry who’s making no effort to get out of bed, still leaning back against the headboard, thumbing at the edge of his phone looking back, still a bit in awe about Jude’s news. Liam shakes his head briefly, mouth set in a soft smile, saying, “I love you, Harry, but you are awful at getting out of bed.” 

Harry’s eyes widen suddenly, heart speeding up at Liam’s words, wanting to take this moment in and store it away, never forgetting how Liam looked the first time he said he loved him: soft and sleep rumpled, pants snug against his hips, chest rising and falling softly as he looks back at Harry, with a small smile, eyes crinkling up ever so slightly as they always do when he looks at Harry, as if nothing out of the ordinary has just happened.

Harry breathes in deeply, praying his voice comes out steady, not wanting to ruin a quiet, soft moment like this by saying the wrong thing. He can’t help the way his smile takes over his face as he gets out of the bed, taking Liam’s face between his hands and squeezing slightly, feeling the vibrations of Liam’s laughter through his cheeks as Harry pushes more at his skin, squishing his lips together and leaning in a kissing him softly, pulling back to say, “I love you, too, Liam.” 

Liam’s eyes widen, seeming to register what’s just happened and then his face transforms into the softest look Harry’s ever seen, eyes bright and crinkled up, beaming back at Harry, laughing loud and swatting at Harry’s arse when Harry turns for the bathroom and says over his shoulder, “But you are honestly the most impatient person in the mornings.”

* 

Harry feels like he’s walking on air the rest of the day. They spend the morning at the Magic Kingdom, buying Kit and Daisy all the treats they want, stopping to take pictures with princesses when they can and waiting in line for nearly an hour just so they can get a picture with Mickey Mouse. Afternoon comes quicker than he’d thought it would and he’s surprised to see how many people showed up for the show. 

The audience is bigger than any there’s been thus far and Harry gets nervous going on the stage they’ve got set up for him, knowing it’s just him and his guitar this time, no one there to cover for him if he gets emotional playing these songs. He starts out with _Happily_ , getting the crowd into it with something familiar, thanking them after for coming and supporting him so much even after he kept them waiting with no word for so long. They scream their support and Harry is taken aback as he sees a sign toward the middle of the crowd reading: _I can’t breathe without you but I have to._ His throat tightens and his eyes dampen. He points to the girl holding the sign, asking, “Did you -”, clearing his throat as his voice comes out tight, “Did you like the title track, then?” 

The girl's face goes red, eyes wide as she calls back that she had and Harry’s heart swells in happiness because that’s the song that means the most to him. “Well then, I have a treat for you. That’s the song I’m playing next.” 

He locates Liam and Niall at the back of the crowd, Kit and Daisy secure on their hips, while Jude bounces excitedly on her heels beside them. All looking back at him proudly and Harry knows he can get through this song today, saying into his mic, voice laced in emotion, “This song is a very personal one.” 

He sets his mic back in its stand, sitting down at the stool and grabbing his guitar, continuing, “This is about my very dear friend Addie and how much I miss her.” 

The cheers of the crowd quiet and transform into hushed whispers, so many faces coloured in shock at Harry’s statements, falling quiet when Harry starts playing. He can’t make eye contact with anyone as he sings, looking down at the scuffed toes of his boots as he does. He looks out at the crowd as he plays the final chords and is shocked to hear them erupt in cheers as he finishes, feeling supported more than ever before. 

His smile is so wide that his jaw aches with it, voice coming out tinged in laughter, not able to contain his happiness, saying, “Thank you for that response. I’m so glad you’ve liked that song. But now, let’s liven this up a bit.” 

He plays the beginning of his first single, the first one he wrote with Liam that really launched his career all those years ago, and can’t believe that the crowd still reacts so enthusiastically after all this time. He meets Liam’s eyes at the back of the crowd and isn’t surprised at all to see him looking back, emotional but smiling. Harry raises his eyebrows at him, earning a laugh and then says into the mic, “This one goes out to Liam, to who I owe for this song.

He smiles, continuing after a brief pause, teasing, “If I had to sing the same song forever, I’m glad it’s the one you wrote on your phone after three too many tequila shots!” 

Liam throws his head back in laughter and holds Kit closer to his chest, only sobering up after Harry’s nearly finished the song. He lookS back at Harry as he does, smiling at him and shaking his head softly, still laughing and Harry’s heart skips in his chest, overwhelmed at being able to make Liam laugh in such a way and how happy he is to have Liam’s affection. To have a home and a family at Liam’s house with him and Niall and the two girls. It’s complicated to onlookers and it’s not easy nor is it perfect but he looks at Liam smiling back at him like he’s the brightest star in the sky and he knows it’s right. That this is theirs and it’s love and he’s _happy_.


End file.
